Dimension Jump XV

Friday Night

The proceedings began at around five o'clock with the palpably energised throng of attendees assembling in one of the larger conference rooms. An impressive, movie-style video introduction for the entire Fan Club team - reminiscent of the advertising campaign as seen in the recent Back to Earth specials - is projected onto a huge screen. Thumping bass notes filled the room as the team appeared one-by-one - in full costume from their Chinatown cameos in BTE, no less. Imagine a cross between The Matrix and Low Rimmer's garb from Demons and Angels, and you won't be far off.

"Welcome to DJ! Come on!!" yells Fan Club chairman James Bull, and the crowd erupts into huge applause.

A final few (star)bugs are been worked out of the system and the quiz is nanoseconds away from commencing.

"Hello! Ooh, I match the lighting in here!"

The unmistakable voice of everyone's favourite, blonde, bob-cut beauty, Hattie Hayridge sends the crowd into overdrive. Now on stage, and sporting a dress similarly-coloured to the oh-so-cool mood lighting, she offers the following sage advice, "Remember, if you don't find someone you fancy tonight, you can always try tomorrow".

As the quiz finally gets into its stride, the audience responds with both laughter and groans at some of the frankly mind-bending questions posed. "This one separates the people who just watch the show now and then, doesn't it?" Hattie accurately declares on asking, "On which deck of the Holoship might you find 'sex and recreation'?"

"Gazpacho Soup... still not tasted it", she later muses.

Three - yes, three - teams tie for first place ('The Kochanski-ites', 'Team Six' and 'I Can't Believe It's Not Skutter'), and it's down to Hattie to bring two members from each posse up on stage to ask her all-important, 'Instant Death' question...

"Which... two episodes... feature... a... tarantula?"

"Better Than Life and Terrorform" is quickly offered, but Better Than Life is disqualified as it only mentions a tarantula and doesn't feature one. Demons and Angels is the correct response, apparently (and thus a weekend-long debate is begun). With the correct answer given a round of applause signals the end of the quiz.

The clock strikes eleven, the karaoke is get into full swing, and Fan Club twins Jenny and Caz are doing the Timewarp. Don't ask. You had to be there.

And so, as the first evening comes to an end, more than a few fermented vegetable drinks are consumed. Judging by the contented background hum of relaxed conversation that would continue on for the next few hours, it feels like this simple, pleasing sound would somehow set the tone for the entire weekend.

And that it did. Along with so much more - as we discovered on Saturday.

Midnight Snack: Corn-fed 'crunchy king prawn'. Raw carrot disregarded.