Dimension Jump XV

Saturday Night

Ahead, Groove Factor 5 - Yeah!

On each table, helium balloons, glow sticks, party poppers and streamers all wait to be cracked, popped and hurled into space.

Model maker extraordinaire, Alan 'Rocky' Marshall steps forth to host the costume competition, and possibly due to very poor disco lighting, somehow manages to mispronounce practically every name on his list, much to the amusement of his peers.

Each contestant is afforded a warm round of applause as they strut their funky stuff on the dance-floor, before the three main winners are announced. In third place is DJ '07 winner, Martha Hawker as 'Lister's Traffic Cone' from The Last Day, in second place, Simon Peel as 'Low Rimmer' (complete with funky, blue-glowing holo-whip), but the deserved winners are announced as, ahem, Team Retard with their entry 'The Crew with Dog'.

Congrats to all who entered - some fantastic entries, this year, guys.

The rest of the Model Unit - the full line-up being Mike Tucker along with Alan Brannon, Pete Tyler, Alan Marshall and Nick Kool - abandon their front-row seats and excitedly take to the stage for their Q&A. We're treated to two stunning show-reels and a second hugely entertaining slideshow, revealing such classic in-jokes as Doctor Who's TARDIS taking up permanent residence in a corner of Starbug's landing bay, and how the simulant battle cruiser from Gunmen of the Apocalypse and Rimmerworld features twin gun turrets poached from the USS Sulaco, as prominently featured in James Cameron's sci-fi epic, Aliens.

The dispensing machine from Series I is revealed to be the very first thing Rocky ever built for the show, "As you can see, I like to put faces on things". Thankfully the urge was resisted when it came to building the super-long remastered version of the Red Dwarf ship.

If all that wasn't enough, Back to Earth actor Richard O'Callaghan stepped up. Despite being a self-confessed "Red Dwarf virgin", by the way he held the audience's attention you'd be forgiven for thinking he was a Dimension Jump veteran. A genuinely warm and effervescent gentleman, the crowd simply adored his stories concerning his role as The Creator ("a real gem of a part"), his mother, the wonderful Patricia Hayes, and admitting the main reason he became an actor is because he "didn't have the brains to be a doctor".

A well-earned standing ovation later, and the disco finally explodes into life. Regardless of style, vigour, or even basic boogieing-down ability, the floor is suddenly alive with eager partygoers. That contented background hum from before had now gone up to eleven... no, make that twelve on the Psi-Scan scale. Aside from some barely audible betting going-on concerning climbing the disco walls using only your lips, I have to admit that's pretty much the extent of my memory for that particular evening.

Maybe it was all that ship-issue Leopard Lager. Or that four-hour Rastabilly Skank mix tape. Or both. Either way, it wouldn't all become clear again until Sunday morning.

Midnight snack: Lobster claw & ketchup (brown, not red).