Dimension Jump IX

Sunday Celebs

Danny John-Jules's arrival at Dimension Jump IX must rank among the classics. Having flown in - yes, that was flown in - especially from the States, Danny was a figure of sartorial elegance. That's Danny John-Jules - fictional Cat, and real-life scruff-meister. In a suit.

Regaling fans with tales from Blade 2 - "I have fangs in my mouth again!" - Danny spotted a familiar face from Dimension Jump costume contests past: "You're the morris dancer!" The poor individual was then made to morris dance before the crowd.

Maybe if they exchanged footwear, Danny's twinkle-toed ability would pass across. "You don't want to borrow my socks - they'll take you off down the road like the [escort] boots in that episode!" Clothing remained a theme as Craig's comment that Danny has more clothes than anyone he's ever met came up. Craig can talk! "He's only got one pair of underpants and a pair of jeans."

Indeed, it seems even the Cat's fashion sense wasn't above comparison - Danny himself raised the name of P. Diddy. "I was wearing that stuff 12 years ago! No credit. But we all know where it came from... I wouldn't wear it now, cos it's common."

Does he have any favourite scenes from his eight Red Dwarf series? "I liked hitting the guy with a shovel," he confessed, once again naming a moment from Justice. "And falling over... with the smile." And what of his reputation for... well, not always succeeding with dialogue on the first take? "I usually think if I'm not going to make it to the end of the line, I stop."

So, the biggie: what of this rumour that he and Chris have left Red Dwarf - The Movie? "Where did you get that from?" "I read it somewhere," replied the fan. "What, in the Beano? I've always been happy in Red Dwarf," a point he punctuated with a knowing grin. "I've always had the smallest thing..." giggles abound. "Part!" he corrected himself - not improving much on the innuendo.

Then it was time for the Cat to be joined by Kochanski as Chloë Annett took to the stage - complete with pregnant bump. "Before you read about it on the internet," Danny beamed, "it ain't mine."

Chloë was unaware that Luke Goss of 80's boy band Bros featured heavily in Blade 2, and seemed a little jealous. An old Bros fan, our Chloë? Questioning continued for a while until she realised that maybe the fans would like to ask one. "Sorry, you lot should be asking the questions."

Do the cast socialise much with one another? Not much, "But when we do get together it's like we've never been away. It sounds cheesy but it's true." And what of the movie? "When we finished the rehearsals we were so psyched up to do it. The last [script] draft we got was just pukka."

What happened to that Cat's nickname for Kochanski - Officer Bud Babe - in series VIII? "I'm bored with her now," Danny moaned. "She's got married, she's having a baby..." "No, Dan, that's my real life." Chloë retorted.

Will the Cat ever get some feline lovin'? Danny assured fans that there had been an episode script cut that would have seen it happen. "No there wasn't! You had a penis down your top, that's the closest you ever got to getting your end away." Chloë joked, before adding: "When I had to kiss Craig he wanted to do it again and again and again."

Who does she think is the better looking, Danny, Chris or Craig? "What about Robert?!" Probably politic, given that the mechanoid actor had arrived at the back of the room. "Is Chris a sex symbol? Not with his character! Danny's got the best body, that's for damn sure. He prances around in his Y-fronts... Actually, Kill Crazy was better than all of them. He was pretty cute."

Any favourite scenes? "I liked my Princess Leia one. That was fun." And least favourite? "That cold water thing still lives with me. I was very hungover, I just felt dreadful. Twice that was done to me!" How does she prefer Kochanski's character? "I preferred the way she was in series VII. She was more 'aarrgghh!" She's been pretty cool, but I prefer her when she's more neurotic - she fits in better." That said: "The outfits were better in series VIII..."

After a break, it was the turn of DJ's final guest, Robert Llewellyn, who had his Q&A strategy worked out. "I'm not going to sit and slouch like Danny did. I'm going to stand and be all anal and British."

Robert discussed his own brushes with Hollywood - firstly with adaptations of his novels, then with his Hollywood Science TV series. "What we discovered was that if Bruce Willis jumped off a building with a hose round his middle, you'd end up with two pieces."

Robert concurred with Chloë's assessment of Danny's body. "He has got a great body. I've seen it. Danny's got a twelve-pack... I've just got the wrapping." Will he do Kryten's voice for the fans? "Why, do you think I'm not really that bloke?"

Moving over his one episode of Red Dwarf as a writer - "I was trying to write myself out of it so I could wear less masks. And I ended up playing two parts!" - Robert talked about his appearance in an episode of Bottom as a one-legged Falklands veteran. "Annoyingly, [it was] almost as uncomfortable as doing Red Dwarf because my legs had to be strapped down." Not that this put him off. "I'd go in Rick and Ade's Bottom any day of the week."

How does he find the pressures of Red Dwarf recognition? "A guy came up to me in the pub, handed me a mobile phone and said, 'It's for you'. The bloke on the other end of the line said, 'Go on, say smee heee'."

Finally, Robert talked about his experiences in America and introduced the abandoned Red Dwarf USA pilot before nipping off to sign autographs. He'll be pleased to know that the sight of Kryten's eyes shooting out into a cup of coffee still gets a laugh. It's a shame the tape had to be placed under lock and key rather than offered up for auction.