moment in red dwarf that made you laugh the most

Discussion in 'RED DWARF UNIVERSE' started by devobd, Dec 14, 2010.

  1. Seb

    Seb Captain Staff Member

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    Yeah, it always struck me as quite reminiscent of "It is better to have loved and to have lost, than to listen to an album by Olivia Newton John".
     
  2. danam22315

    danam22315 Second Technician

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    I double-checked this reference, and it IS from Krytie T.V.

    Sorry about that.

    I also like a quote from Rimmerworld:

    KRYTEN : "Your T count, which is the hologrammatic equilivent of blood pressure is higher than a hippie on the third day of an open-air festival."
     
  3. danam22315

    danam22315 Second Technician

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    A few other favorites are:

    - KRYTEN: "Is it just me, or is that cockroach shuffling too loudly?" (The Last Day)
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    - LISTER : "Rimmer, you've got a longer yellow streak than a stampede of diaheretic camels." (LEGION)
    (One of the greatest insults of all time)
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    - LISTER : ( to Rimmer ) "Get out of town. You're nickname was never ace. Maybe ace-hole." (KRYTEN)
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    - RIMMER : "What about Rimmer's Directive? Which states 'Never tangle with anything that has more teeth than the entire Osmond family.' " (POLYMORPH??)
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    - RIMMER : "Oh my god. My name is Billy Doyle, and my cologne is Eau de Yak Urine." (BACK TO REALITY)
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    - RIMMER : "I don't want to feel like this anymore."
    LISTER : "So you're in pain, yeah? Look, Rimmer, if you go through life without feelin', without experiencin', you're no better than a jellyfish; You're no better than a bank manager." (THANKS FOR THE MEMORY)
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    - ACE : "Cat old friend. That suit is sharper than a page of Oscar Wilde witticisms, rolled up into a point, sprinkled with lemon juice and jammed into someone's eye."
    CAT : "Wow. That's sharp." (DIMENSION JUMP??)
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    - CAT : "Hey, we're supporting you, man There's one of him, and four of us."
    KRYTEN : "But you would not profit by it. You would gamble you safety for a mere android? Is this the human emotion you call friendship?"
    LISTER : "Don't give me that Star Trek crap. It's too early in the morning."
    (THE LAST DAY)
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    - HOLLY : "Fruit alert! Fruit alert! An electrical fire has knock out my voice recognition unicycle. Many whirllets are missing from my databank. Abandon shop! This is not a daffodil! Repeat. This is not a daffodil!"
    RIMMER : "Well, thankfully Holly is uneffected."
    (DEMONS AND ANGELS)
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    and the absolute best...

    - LISTER : "Hol, we need some advice, mate. We've been cornered by a T-Rex that was formerly a sparrow, and the only thing that can turn it back into Woody Woodpecker is in its' stomach. What's your take on the situation?"
    HOLLY : "What do you want, the long or the short version?"
    LISTER : "Ooh, long."
    HOLLY : "You're finished."
    CAT : "What's the short version?"
    HOLLY : "Bye."
    (PETE, PART II)
     
  4. Strat-tastic

    Strat-tastic Flight Co-Ordinator

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    The Inquisitor

    Kryten: Right sir. Now I have to go back in time so that I can sacrifice myself, so that we can end up in the mess we're in now.
    [Lister and Kryten consider this]
    Kryten: All in all, today's been a bit of a bummer, hasn't it, sir?


    Gotta love Kryten's delivery. Brilliant.
     
  5. blaggard

    blaggard First Technician

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    too many. Too, too many.

    [QUEEG]
    LISTER: I earned that pea. It's my pea and I'm eating it, no matter what.
    RIMMER: It went into your sock basket.
    LISTER: ....I'll just have the toast.

    [JUSTICE - Lister has space mumps]
    LISTER: Barbara Bellini, what a beautiful name. There's no justice, how can this happen to me? Maybe I can wear a turban and pretend I'm from India.
    CAT: Maybe you can stick a spike in your head and pretend you're the Taj Mahal!

    [HOLOSHIP]
    KRYTEN: They've taken Mr. Rimmer! Sir, they've taken Mr. Rimmer!
    CAT: Quick — let's get out of here before they bring him back!

    I'll stop there because I really should be doing some work.
     
  6. kevbasko

    kevbasko Skutter

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    Must say, the moment that ALWAYS makes me laugh out loud is at 1.18 on this video:

    http://youtu.be/0ofl_UP3apM

    I seriously believe Craig's smirk was not scripted. You can see him trying to fight it.
     
  7. Bluey

    Bluey Science Officer

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    It does look a bit that way, and the audience gives a very knowing laugh obviously thinking he's beginning to corpse, but I've always believed it was a scripted moment.
     
  8. Strat-tastic

    Strat-tastic Flight Co-Ordinator

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    Sorry I can't get youtube. Which bit are we talking about please?
     
  9. kevbasko

    kevbasko Skutter

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    The moment in DNA scripted thusly:

    KRYTEN: Ah. Hmm. Ah yes, now, I wanted to talk to you about something.
    Something about, um, well, something I know we humans get a little
    embarrassed about. It's a bit of a taboo subject -- not the sort of
    thing we like to sit around and chat about in polite conversation.
    LISTER: Kryten, I'm an enlightened twenty-third century guy. Spit it
    out, man.
    KRYTEN: Well, I want to talk to you about my penis.

    DAVE LISTER, enlightened 23rd century guy, reacts exactly as would an
    unenlightened 20th century schoolboy.

    I just love Craig Charles face and the way his smirk slowly cracks across his face. :lol:
     
  10. jhmagic1

    jhmagic1 Third Technician

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    Is that painting yours, its rubbish?

    Its a mirror.
     
  11. Strat-tastic

    Strat-tastic Flight Co-Ordinator

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    Great moment :lol: Thanks for taking the trouble to explain it :-)
     
  12. RECTUMfacedPYGMY

    RECTUMfacedPYGMY Catering Officer

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    I was watching series 6 emohawk, and they was talking about getting away from the gelfs, and the Cat says "that only gives us 28 hours" it made me laugh cat is:P so dumb and stupid sometimes he does make me laugh.
     
  13. bedfordfalls

    bedfordfalls Deck Sergeant

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    This type of dumb Cat/Lister humour can be hit or miss but I agree it worked in this scene partly because of the facial expressions pulled by all around him.
    Alot of the jokes in early Dwarf aren't all brilliant humdingers but the comic facial reactions and rapid fire pace means that smaller gags like this get bigger reactions than they deserve because you are almost primed to laugh.
     
  14. Sylux024

    Sylux024 Third Technician

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    We're on a mining ship, three million years into deep space. Can someone explain to me where the smeg I got this traffic cone?!?!
     
  15. lemonhead

    lemonhead Second Technician

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    Polymorph made me laugh out loud the first time I watched it, and Kryten's 'red alert bulb' line. They are some notable ones for me.
     
  16. danam22315

    danam22315 Second Technician

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    Lister:"we have to find a way out of here."
    Cat: " I think I found it! It's a button with E11T on it."
    Lister"So?"
    Cat :"Eleven in Roman numerals is XI. E-X-I-T."
    Lister:"Isn't he a smart-a** when he's made out of plasticine?"

    (This may not be exactly what was said...)

    I think this is from one of the Back In the Red Episodes...
    ;-):eek::-D:-D:-D
     
  17. Hollo_Marx

    Hollo_Marx Catering Officer

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    The whole bit where Lister thinks that Kryten's hand is a tarantula and he and Cat discuss this problem by typing to one another on the computer.

    "It's got an eye the size of a meatball!"

    A close second is Ace's return in Stoke me a Clipper. Him wind-surfing mid-air on the so obviously fake crocodile just kills me every time.

    Third would be Kryten using the anti-matter chopsticks. I know that it's all slapstick, but even thinking about it is making me chuckle.

    What a show.
     
  18. Kryten1985

    Kryten1985 Skutter

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    Very hard to choose a favourite but some high ranking ones would be

    "Don't eyeball me Gandhi, get on the floor and give me 50...NOW!!" (Meltdown)

    --------------

    The whole morning scene in Thanks for the Memories but specifically

    Lister: "Okay so aliens came aboard.."
    Rimmer: "Without question!"
    Lister: "They broke my leg."
    Rimmer: "For some reason."
    Cat: "They broke my leg."
    Rimmer: "Right."
    Holly: "Then they did a jigsaw."

    ---
    Holly hop scene in Parallel Universe

    Holly: "One slight error in any one of my 13 billion calculations, we'll all be blasted to smitherines."
    "Here we go then."
    "10, 9, 8, 6, 5, 4"

    Some new contenders are when the Cat walks past in the background in Trojan or walking 6000 miles for 8 lemons.

    However another time and place, this would probably be different. Just so many to choose from.
     
  19. kry102001

    kry102001 Catering Officer

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    Ah, you have my surname Sir !!!
     
  20. Kittypaws

    Kittypaws Flight Co-Ordinator

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    Out of anything else, that tarantula scene virtually killed me! :lol::lol::lol:
     

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