Muffets

Discussion in 'THE AIGBURTH ARMS' started by jmc2000, Dec 18, 2017.

  1. jmc2000

    jmc2000 Deck Sergeant

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    As a format for short funny poems, I'd like to propose an alternative to the limerick: the "muffet".

    A muffet is a four line poem that closely follows the pattern of "Little Miss Muffet".

    Diddly do, diddly do,
    Diddly, diddly do.
    A-diddly, diddly, diddly, diddly,
    Diddly, diddly do!


    Of course, you have some flexibility, as long as it still scans. The following also counts as a muffet:

    Diddly, diddly, diddly do,
    A-diddly, diddly do.
    Diddly, diddly, diddly do,
    Diddly, diddly do!


    ...as long as lines one and three rhyme internally, like Muffet/tuffet and spider/beside her.

    I've decided that it's traditional (but not mandatory) to introduce a named person at the start of the first line. Here are five examples to kick the thread off:

    Reverend Bragg, partial to drag,
    Thought that the vestry was locked.
    On finding him wearing an outfit too daring
    They had the poor vicar - "defrocked"!

    When Debbie Campari came back from safari,
    I struggled to stifle a laugh
    On learning that Deborah got mauled by a zebra
    And chased by an angry giraffe.


    Charlie McGrew, who worked at a zoo,
    Struggled to rent in Belgravia.
    He shared with a cheetah and giant anteater -
    Pretty eccentric behaviour!

    William Pratt, had a top hat,
    'Cos he was quite upper clarse.
    It sat on his head till he climbed into bed
    With it carefully stowed in his ████.

    Doctor O'Dowd, superbly endowed,
    Famously had a big ████.
    His patients got yooster the twenty pound rooster -
    What a strange pet for a doc!

    Bonus points for anyone who can write a Red Dwarf-themed muffet!
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2017
  2. Pembers

    Pembers Console Officer

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    An accidental spaceman named Dave,
    A gift of memory he gave,
    Booze they did guzzle and finished the puzzle,
    Then dug the black box it's grave.
     
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  3. jmc2000

    jmc2000 Deck Sergeant

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    Arnold J Rimmer was such a good swimmer
    He put every badge in a frame -
    Assuming the swimmer was actually Rimmer
    And not someone else of that name!
     
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  4. Cloud

    Cloud Console Officer

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    In Red Dwarf there is a character called Rimmer
    But he isnt as good as Tex Rimmer
    Please dont be like Rimmer
    I want the return of Tex Rimmer

    guffs
     
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  5. Pembers

    Pembers Console Officer

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    Little Miss 'Chanski sat in her Pantski
    Eating her Pineapple Chunks,
    Along came Kryten and her he did Frighten
    'Stay Away From My Red Dwarf Hunks'
     
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  6. Underdunn

    Underdunn Catering Officer

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    Red Dwarf when on BBC 2,
    Was fresh, exciting and new,
    Then it moved onto Dave,
    Did and ep called 'Time Wave,
    And now it's just generally poo.
     

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