Recently, you all submitted questions to be asked of @Nikki the Great. I'm happy to say that she's finally given the answers to the the pressing questions you've always had about her: 1. "Nikki?" "Mmm?" "Ya ever see Sesame Street?" "Sure!" "D'ya think Bert's sexy?" "Bert?" "Maybe we've been alone in deep space too long, but every time I see that elongated eyebrow, it drives me crazy. Is it me?" It's definitely you. I simply don't like his haircut. Sorry Bert. 2. Can we see you in shorts? I dunno? Can you? Got your binoculars out or something? 3. Can you guess who wrote this question? Kry10 ammirite? 4. Can you quack, can you quack like duck? ...you mean...when I suck? 5. Do you like to read essay style posts? If the person writing them is simply trying to sound intellectual, but not really pulling it off then I cringe with every fibre of my being. If it's boring I yawn. So generally no, unless it's interesting. 6. Do you prefer salad cream or mayonnaise? Salad cream, but only if it's yellowish. I have an aversion to white foodstuffs. And probably for the reason you're thinking of, yes. 7. Do you regret not going to kry10's Manchester meet up? If so, why? Yes. I could've won the raffle. And taken a picture of Kry10 leaning against the wall at his Manchester meet up, proving that it did actually happen. 8. Favourite Forum Hat Wearer? @Pembers obvs. 9. Favourite train station to have sex in? Waterloo. Under the departure boards. <3 10. Have You Ever Been STOLE? Yes. By @Pembers aka "The SUITOR" 11. Have you ever had an unpleasant rash? Yes, whenever I get bitten by bugs. I'm allergic to them. It's not fun. 12. How did you discover the forum and what were your first impressions? Wayyyy back in 2012, mentioning no names...someone I knew irl suggested I join. So I did. My original name was "changeofplanlegit". I remember posting a little and finding a couple of posters funny, but I kinda just drifted away and forgot about it until late in 2015. Things had been difficult for me around that time and I'd gone back to watching Red Dwarf, my favourite show when I was a kid, as a sort of comfort, feel-good thing during a dark time. And I remembered the forum and thought it might be good to come back again. And here I am still! 13. How often do you wear shorts? Err sometimes I guess. You? 14. If you could travel in time, what would you be most eager to see? Dinosaurs! Rawr! 15. If you have read them, what do you think about the Red Dwarf novels? I haven't. Sorry. Don't get mad please. 16. If you were to enter politics, what would your party be like (symbol, colour, name, key policies, etc.?). Symbol would probably be a cat, just cos I like cats. Colour would be Indigo, cos I don't think it's taken. Name would be something cool like, I dunno, "Something Cool". Policies would be to the left. Perhaps borderline hippyish. [Interviewer note: High quality campaign banner graphic design by none other than @Abe myself] 17. Tell us what went down at waterloo station Please!! This is a family forum!! 18. What are several reasons you think Cloud is the great We have pretty much the exact same photo album. He knows how to lay a good smackdown. And we tell each other to do terrible terrible things and then back each other up over it. 19. What did you have for tea? Marmite. Did you know that if you put some Marmite in a bowl and add boiling water it makes a very beautiful dish? 20. What do you think of gingers? 21. What does @Nikki the Great think about this? She approves. 22. What is your (current) favourite artistic or creative discipline, or one you like especially, and why? Contemporary ballet is interesting. Ballet is very technical, but contemporary gives more room to be creative with choreography etc. I am back on my indoor trapeze again now, which I like doing. It makes me feel free and weightless and stuff. 23. What is your (current) favourite kind of moss, or one you like especially, and why? Cushion moss is nice. Looks and feels like a rug. I wish I had a rug made out of cushion moss. But alas, I do not. 24. What is your opinion on Tex Rimmer I wish he'd come back and give his opinion on all the stuff he's been tagged in. 25. What number do you most closely associate with @Tex_Rimmer? 940 26. What other sites on the internet do you visit? I think I've already admitted to 4chan? But in my defence, only the /x/ board these days. I wouldn't say I especially use any others often. Me and @jmc2000 sometimes browse strange sites or ones we find hilarious for all the wrong reasons, together on Skype. 27. What type of hat do you prefer to dump in? Fedoras are awesome! (Watch this and tell me you don't want to take a dump in his hat!) 28. What's the worst advice you've ever been given? "Go that way". It was the wrong way. Awful. 29. What's your favourite Ant e thread of all time, The one that compared forum members to Thomas The Tank Engine characters. 30. What's your favourite Bluey thread of all time (oh wait, there are none)!!!!! Did he not start one about recommendations and reviews of various types of binoculars? 31. What's your favourite Red Dwarf episode and why? The Inquisitor. Just because it gave me the most laughs per single episode. Series V is the best anyway. 32. Which of Hortons personas has been your favorite? I thought the recent "Joe Fellowship" was absolute gold tbh. Pretending to be a retired wealthy gardening enthusiast, who referred to daffodils as "nature's trumpets", offering awful chat up lines, the worst fatherly advice I have ever heard - "I am fit like George Clooney", getting irrationally angry (and possibly even a bit gutted?) over farts and then threatening to call the police on us all for giving him a heart attack that he seemed to get over miraculously in a few minutes. I laughed hard that day. And sometimes even now when I remember it randomly. 33. Who makes the worst topics on the forum and why is it neilold? Hahahahaha! I dunno, I think perhaps he tries to outdo himself every day by flooding the forum with increasingly terrible threads. Strange behaviour from a guy with such mad hacking skillz. 34. Would you rather be 9ft tall or 3ft tall? As much as I'd probably enjoy smashing stuff and fighting giraffes at 9ft tall, I like the idea of being able to completely disappear, and 3ft is closer to that than 9ft. 35. Would you rather marry Bluey, kiss a frog or push kry10 into a puddle? Sorry Kry10. Do let me know what you think about this though! 36. You got shorts on? No. No I have not.