Red Dwarf: Man Computer Chapter I

Discussion in 'RED DWARF UNIVERSE' started by Eddiebadassdavis, Jun 14, 2018.

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  1. Eddiebadassdavis

    Eddiebadassdavis Catering Officer Warned

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    [​IMG]








    :Earth 2080:


    On the quiet countryside of Earth, there was two kids who had no names

    And were orphans, they where playing in the back garden.

    “Oi you two!” the nun said as she walked down the stairs

    To tell them something “what did i say! It’s dinner time”

    The nun said she got the two kids hands and dragged them back to the house.


    :Earth 2090:


    It was a bleak winter all of the kids and the teens who were orphans

    Stood around the dying body of the girl,

    There was the boy looking sad and had no idea why she was dying,

    “Tell me! Why are you sick” he cried to her and put his hands on her breasts which were very pressed hard. “You’re were sick since last friday

    Where Billy threw that magazine which had some very inappropriate

    Pictures of girls” he said, the girl looked gloomy at him and slowly dies

    In her sleep.



    “This is set between series I and Series II”

    Chapter I


    “This is an sos message from the mining ship Red Dwarf

    Wiped from a radiation leak,

    The only survivors are Dave Lister put into stasis for smuggling his

    Pet cat,

    And his companions are the ship's cat safely sealed in the ship's hold,

    And his bunkmate and now hologram Arnold J Rimmer.”

    [​IMG]


    It’s been six weeks since Lister has found out about that the crew are dead.

    Rimmer is in the drive room talking to one of the skuttlers about

    Saving storage on the ship and what’s needed and not needed.

    Lister came in with a curry and wearing his favorite black cap

    Which is 3 million yrs old and 6 weeks old,

    “What’s goin guys” he said as looked around curiously

    Rimmer looked stern and crossed his arms “me and the skutters

    And that does include Bob and Madge, are planning to throw away stuff we don’t need” he said stressfully to Lister “oh i got un idea”

    Lister looked happy and his eyes widened, “please do not throw away

    My good stuff in the locker” he said under his breath,

    “No Rimma it’s you i'm plannen to throw out you!” he said.


    As soon as Rimmer was about to say something Holly appeared

    On the screen, “wassup dudes” he said, Rimmer looked at Holly

    “Ah Holly, are you supposed to delete the following VHS downloads?”

    He questioned to Holly, Holly looked confused as if he booked a wrong

    Table for a date,

    As if he did in the past.


    “Did you Holly!” Rimmer said “oh no you didn't did you!”

    Rimmer said in a argo way, Lister got behind Rimmer as if he was about to fight someone, but he wouldn't fight someone since he is such a wimp.

    “Just leave him Rimma” he said to Rimmer defending the computer which as an iq of 6ooo pe teachers.


    “Actually, i got a favor for you” Holly said Lister jumped up like

    a dog Rimmer just stood there with no human inside him,

    Cat came over into the drive room “heeey did someone say

    Something to do!” Cat said as his suit reflected the light.

    Holly said but had the same old face, “i found a old file which i haven’t opened in yrs and its password protected” he said to the boys,

    “What, you're tellen me that i gotta open it with a password” Lister confusey said, Lister also noted that he knew another password,

    “The only password i know is Rimmers” he said Cat and Rimmer both looked at Lister, “wow bud, you haven't told me about gold- post-head’s

    Password” Cat said he smiled at Lister his teeth showing off.


    “Alright Hol, what’s the password” he said to Holly

    Holly on the other hand searched for the password.

    “Here found it” Holly said, the screen popped up with

    It saying file unzipped then there was a unlocked file saying

    Computer man. “Computer man, it sounds like a rip off to Rayman

    That film starring Tom Cruise” Rimmer pointed out Lister looked

    At the screen too, he too was confused about the file. “Hol what is this folder?” he questioned Holly.
     
  2. Ant E

    Ant E Flight Co-Ordinator

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    I’m glad there’s a character called Billy
     
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  3. Underdunn

    Underdunn Supply Officer

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    I liked the bit where he pressed the girls breasts very hard.
     
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  4. Nikki the Great

    Nikki the Great Console Officer

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    Typical Billy behaviour too, throwing his scuzzy porn mags around.
     
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  5. Underdunn

    Underdunn Supply Officer

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    I also like the bit where she looked at him grimly as she died in her sleep.
     
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  6. Nikki the Great

    Nikki the Great Console Officer

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    I liked when the nun said she got the two kids hands.
     
  7. Cloud

    Cloud Flight Co-Ordinator

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    When I read this I looked confused as if I booked a wrong Table for a date
     
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  8. Ant E

    Ant E Flight Co-Ordinator

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    I like the bit when Danny turned up in chat and started flooding it with random bible verses. Then Jason the dragon returned, sim and Jed left the forum in protest, then returned the following day! Brilliant cliffhanger. 10/10
     
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  9. Cloud

    Cloud Flight Co-Ordinator

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    Ant you should start writing forum fanfiction.
     
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  10. Ant E

    Ant E Flight Co-Ordinator

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    Excellent idea!!!!

    Chapter one:
    Seb returns.....
     
  11. Cloud

    Cloud Flight Co-Ordinator

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    I am excited. Please include a nun. They could be Kry10s love interest.
     
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  12. Asclepius

    Asclepius Deck Sergeant

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    You wrote this just to make @Cloud happy, didn't you? :-D
    Last words the girl heard were about porn magazine. LOL :lol:
     
  13. Ant E

    Ant E Flight Co-Ordinator

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    Will they find the planet of the rolos??? Eh @BozBoo
     
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  14. Bluey

    Bluey Science Officer

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    Very poor effort, Ant.

    0 out of 10
     
  15. Eddiebadassdavis

    Eddiebadassdavis Catering Officer Warned

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    i will send in Chapter II tonight after the story I referenced everyone on the forum
     
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  16. Nikki the Great

    Nikki the Great Console Officer

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    I'm excited!
     
  17. Cloud

    Cloud Flight Co-Ordinator

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    I am so excited. This is like every christmas rolled into one.
     

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