So what is it?

Discussion in 'RED DWARF UNIVERSE' started by Gluben, Apr 27, 2009.

  1. Kit_Cat

    Kit_Cat Third Technician

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    It's always the way innit, you hang about in space for three million years, and you dont see any. Then all of a sudden five of 'em turn up at once!
     
  2. Daniel

    Daniel Console Officer

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    Okay, time for the mother of all memory-quotes:

    Haven't you ever travelled interstellar? Oh you don't feel a thing! You see a stasis room creates a static field of time, and just as X-rays can't pass through lead, time cannot penetrate a stasis field. Although you'll still exist, you'll no longer exist in time, and for you time itself will not exist. Though you are still a mass, you are no longer an event in space time, you are a non-event mass with a quantum probability of zero.
     
  3. Weevil

    Weevil Deck Sergeant

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    Your guitar was made of camphor wood! It was probably worth a fortune. Burn the soldiers -- burn them right now.
     
  4. Tex_Rimmer

    Tex_Rimmer First Technician

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    It's a banana. It always has been a banana, it always will be a banana. It's a big yellow fruit thing that you unzip and eat the white bits.
     
  5. Krytens_spare_head

    Krytens_spare_head Second Technician

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    Phew what a day im pooped its straight to sleep for me. Not tonight darling,goodnight. Youve been looking forward to this all night havent you? ok I just want to slip into something a little more comfortable its called starbug. CHANGE OF PLAN LEG IIIIITTTT!!!!!!! :lol::lol::lol:
     
  6. jacksmith

    jacksmith Catering Officer

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    Halesowen, West Midlands, Earth
    Whoever heard of a wormskin rug?
     
  7. Weevil

    Weevil Deck Sergeant

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    let's knock on the door and ask for Ronnie Real. This is a classic stalemate situation. You can't use your weapons and neither can we let's chalk this one down to experience and we'll be on our merry way, yeah? Actually, as far as psychotic deranged ruthless killer simulants go, you're a bit of a babe. What are you doing tonight?
     
  8. Stephen

    Stephen Console Officer

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    Inspectiooonnnnn!!
     
  9. Daniel

    Daniel Console Officer

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    You know what they say it stands for? "Convict Army Nearly All Retarded Inbred Evil Sheep-shaggers"
     
  10. Kit_Cat

    Kit_Cat Third Technician

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    Why would a haddock kill itself?
     
  11. Weevil

    Weevil Deck Sergeant

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    What I don't understand is why he went to the trouble of using his kidney as a full stop.
     
  12. hubbard

    hubbard Deck Sergeant

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    You guys are nuts LOL

    ps...can you hear anything?
     
  13. Weevil

    Weevil Deck Sergeant

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    No one can hear anything! And you know WHY we can't hear anything?

    Because there are NO sounds to hear.
     
  14. Tex_Rimmer

    Tex_Rimmer First Technician

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    Kryten, isn't it about this time of year that you have your head sent back to the lab for re-tuning?
     
  15. Tex_Rimmer

    Tex_Rimmer First Technician

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    Something I caught scuttling around the cargo bay, sir... managed to land a monkey wrench on it, and the rest is history! The only clue I'm prepared to give is: we're having it with green wine.
     
  16. J_Spaced

    J_Spaced Second Technician

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    Apr 15, 2009
    "Dear Rimmer, we've gone on a fishing holiday to that ocean moon we passed two days ago. Couldn't wake you, see you in a week, L, K and C."
     
  17. hubbard

    hubbard Deck Sergeant

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    I try to be liked god knows I try :lol:
     
  18. Kit_Cat

    Kit_Cat Third Technician

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    Oh! Who woke him up!??
     
  19. Daniel

    Daniel Console Officer

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    I regail you with stories of when I was treasurer of the Hammond Organ owners society. You never laugh! I offer to give you a tour of my collection of 20th century telegraph poles. You're always busy! None of you like Morris Dancing! Would it really kill you once in a while the four of us getting our knees in the air, the sound of wood on wood? No, every time I bring it up you all pretend to be ill.
     
  20. shelbert

    shelbert Third Technician

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    Ankh Morpork
    sir you are a total and utter smeeh. A smmehhhhhhhhh. A smeeeeeeeeee heeeeeeee
     

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