So what is it?

Discussion in 'RED DWARF UNIVERSE' started by Gluben, Apr 27, 2009.

  1. Weevil

    Weevil Deck Sergeant

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    There's some sort of disruption to the time-fabric continuum. At least, I presume that's what it is, it's certainly got all the signs. There's this big wibbly-wobbly swirly thing that's headed straight towards us.
     
  2. shelbert

    shelbert Third Technician

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    so what is it?
     
  3. Tex_Rimmer

    Tex_Rimmer First Technician

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    It's that man we found. It seemed such a waste to leave him lying there when he'd barbecue so beautifully.
     
  4. hubbard

    hubbard Deck Sergeant

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  5. sanja

    sanja Supply Officer

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    No thanks, I prefer chicken :-)
     
  6. Stephen

    Stephen Console Officer

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    It's INSANE!
     
  7. hubbard

    hubbard Deck Sergeant

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    Just cos its an armour plated killing machine doesnt mean its a bad person.
     
  8. Daniel

    Daniel Console Officer

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    No, it's a bad person because it salivates unspeakable slobber
     
  9. jacksmith

    jacksmith Catering Officer

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    Too good to be a volti-metre are we Kryten?
     
  10. Tex_Rimmer

    Tex_Rimmer First Technician

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    Not at all. If you want me to be a volt meter, I’m only too happy to be of service. Why, if you ask me to remove my head and turn it into a chemical toilet complete with working flush, I’d be equally honoured. It’s just that firing my eyes out of my head at the speed of sound does invalidate my Divadroid service guarantee. I would hate to malfunction and you not get a full refund. I mean, wouldn’t that be just so annoying?
     
  11. jacksmith

    jacksmith Catering Officer

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    What is the point of me being his superior officer if he never obeys a single command? You know, he hasn’t even got the good manners to let me court-martial him. Not even when I ask him nicely. We might as well have a melon in command.
     
  12. Weevil

    Weevil Deck Sergeant

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    Listen, girls. I don't know whether this is the time or place to say this but my mate, Ace, here is incredibly, 'credibly brave!
     
  13. Daniel

    Daniel Console Officer

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    Kry-ten, I was just thinking. Assuming we are not dealing with five-dimensional objects in a basic Euclidean geometric universe and given the essential premise that all of geomathematics is based on the hideously limiting notion that one plus one equals two, and not as Ustemeyer correctly postulates that one and two are in fact the same thing observed from different precepts

    *snorts*

    the theoretical shape described by Sidis must therefore be, a polydridodecahooeyhadron, a hexasexahedroadicon and a dibidollyhedecadodron

    *snorts*

    Everything else is poppycock, is it not so?

    (not sure I got the names right in all that. Just basing it on how it sounds to my ears, but if anyone knows the actual names he uses it would be interesting to know)
     
  14. Kit_Cat

    Kit_Cat Third Technician

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    I'm not speaking quickly. I'm speaking perfectly normally. It's you. You're speaking too slowly. It's like having a conversation with Paul Robeson on dope.
     
  15. Weevil

    Weevil Deck Sergeant

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    Curious. It's as though we're experiencing relative time dilation in an amazingly compressed space.
     
  16. Kit_Cat

    Kit_Cat Third Technician

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    That's exactly what I thought. Relative time dilation, I thought, in an amazingly compressed space. You're a mind-reader, Kryten.
     
  17. sanja

    sanja Supply Officer

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    In the 3 million years we've been away, it is my fond hope that mankind has abolished war, cured all disease, and gotten rid of those little western saloon doors you get in trendy clothes shops.
     
  18. jacksmith

    jacksmith Catering Officer

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    Would it make a difference if it was; Humous?

    *scribble*
     
  19. shelbert

    shelbert Third Technician

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    would anyone like some toast?
     
  20. Kit_Cat

    Kit_Cat Third Technician

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    Look, I don't want any toast, and he doesn't want any toast. In fact, no one around here wants any toast.
    Not now, not ever. NO TOAST!!!!!
     

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