The best and worst jokes in Series X

Discussion in 'RED DWARF UNIVERSE' started by ben996, Nov 8, 2012.

  1. ben996

    ben996 First Technician

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    So Series X has finished, whether you loved it, hated it or thought it was average I thought we'd share here what we loved and hated about it. Post 3 great gags, and 3 poor ones from the new series. If you don't like this thread in any way don't comment please.

    Good:
    1. "His finger wetting machine in overtime" (a great gag that I never saw coming)
    2. "How about we look out of the window" (even though the whole gag just dragged out and became crap that one line was genius)
    3. Spoon of power, "We just, don't really use it anymore" (lol)

    Bad:
    1. The Kryten spoon thing (why Doug?)
    2. Lister humping the vending machine (re-hashing polymorph)
    3. The whole scene featuring Lister talking to himself on the video in Fathers and Suns (I just didn't like it)

    :-)
     
  2. MacabreMagpie

    MacabreMagpie Catering Officer

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    In no particular order;

    1. "Or we could look out of the window"
    2. "No, we just hosed him down and gave him a hat"
    3. "Jesus" "Yes?"

    Worst:
    1. Vending Machine Humping
    2. Taiwan Tony
    3. The pig racing in Trojans
     
  3. Angelic_Storm

    Angelic_Storm Catering Officer

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    Best gags:

    1. Cat - "It's like a pole vaulter winning gold with a chopstick!"
    2. Kryten - "Well, they do have an IQ of 2 sir!"
    3. Lister - "We've killed Wallace & Gromit!"

    Worst:

    1. The vending machine humping
    2. Entire mailbag scene in "Dear Dave".
    3. Everything with the Irene E character in "Entangled".
     
  4. Stirmaster

    Stirmaster Third Technician

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    Top 5:
    The entire intro of The Beginning
    It, and the holding thereof
    The first entangled-Kryten-and-Cat sequence, especially its setup
    "Genuine JC Bags"
    "Someone about your height, your colouring, who goes by the name of you"

    Bottom 5:
    The Medi-Bot
    Taiwan Tony
    the French dispenser
    Lister trying to pick up the other dispenser
    Pree

    (hmmn, I'm noticing a pattern here...)
     
  5. ShrunkenPixel

    ShrunkenPixel Second Technician

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    Good:

    Howard: And you rebuilt him - gave him something to live for.
    Rimmer: No, we just hosed him down and gave him a hat

    Lister Snr tells Lister Jnr to go get his tooth sorted. Lister Jnr, not really wanting to, curiously skips ahead to hear the message of approval that Lister Snr had recorded for himself. Of course, this was predicted and Lister Snr berates Lister Jnr for skipping ahead and orders him to get his tooth sorted. Interested in what the next message said, Lister Jnr skipped ahead again... ultimately leading to the realisation that all this was predicted and he'd already jettisoned his guitar as punishment.

    Kryten gathers all the weapons aboard Blue Midget - comprising a knife, a fork and a pencil sharpener. He also points out there are rumours of a wooden stick and a piece of string somewhere. And then Cat turns up, playing the string game.

    Kryten: How about we look out of the window?

    Bad:

    The incredibly drawn-out and painful experience waiting for the next button to be pushed to release Lister's groinal exploder. Whatever the choice was bound to be the right one, evoking that feeling you get when Chris Tarrant deliberately milks an obviously correct answer on "Millionaire" - more stressful than funny.

    Vending machine, vending machine, vending machine.

    The whole lack of VIII cliffhanger explanation. Was this a joke, or were we the joke?
     
  6. bedfordfalls

    bedfordfalls Deck Sergeant

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    Best:

    "Was he Swedish? A Moose!"
    "Hosed him down and gave him a hat"
    "Oh Sir, please don't order me to help you, you know how I HATE helping you"
    "Let's face it sir, were in a real pickle"
    "If you've never had a dream, you've never had a dream come true"
    "I smart as a hedgehog"
    "You insult my kind by saying we are obsessed with duels across time and space...I therefore challenge you to a duel across time and space!"
    "Why don't we look out of the window?"
    "Ssh"
    Lister jr/Sr conversation
    "Did it work?" "No".
    "Rimmer...SIT DOWN!"
    "Have you got a pen?"
    "Was it the man or the system?" "It was the man, definately the man"
    "Ooh it looks like a little man in a spacesuit"
    "That's not a man, that's Lister!"
    "In fact you're a bit of a knob"
    "Bollocking damn and jumbo buggers"
    "Oh, it's sealed, were doomed"
    "Here comes the wall"
    "How long you mad, goth bastard!"

    Bad:

    Entire racism subplot from F&S
    Pig racing.
    Listers videogames
    Lister's cooking (the last three really show why the setup has to be funny to a joke too...not just the payoff)
    "Shakespeare its over" (see above)
    "You got to think ahead"

    Huh:

    "He means Charades"
    "When you did the foxtrot did you wonder why she was shaving?"
     
  7. DAN_JMC

    DAN_JMC Catering Officer

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    ok if you mean gags and not just one liners then

    1. The moose scene topped off by cat telling rimmer it was a moose.
    2. Lister's video message to himself
    3. the first scene of The Beginning

    worst scenes?

    Nearly everything from Lemons, "I was speeching!" for one
     
  8. DAN_JMC

    DAN_JMC Catering Officer

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    I think I just got that shaving gag.In the foxtrot, isn't that where you dance cheek to cheek? So she was shaving so the stubble wouldn't rub his face? Terrible joke I know, but I think that's the joke..

    The charades thing.. could that just be to appease UK and US audiences or something?
     
  9. Goit_84

    Goit_84 First Technician

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    Good:
    Lister talking to himself in Fathers And Suns.
    Rimmer's shining moment in The Beginning felt very much like Out Of Time. Genuinely brave and clever - Ace is shining through. The jokes are funnier when you're more on board with the character arcs.

    Bad:
    Cartoony Geordie Jesus
    Medi-Bot
    Scooby Doo wacky running about the ship.
    Lister being a just a little bit too Coronation Street at times. He was very much a cheeky scouser in 1-6, a scamp.
    Some strange, just a bit too cartoony moments - like trekking across the desert for 6 months on Earth searching for Lemons and not being significantly changed by the end of the ordeal.
     
  10. bedfordfalls

    bedfordfalls Deck Sergeant

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    Mackem Jesus! Get it right. :lol:
     
  11. bedfordfalls

    bedfordfalls Deck Sergeant

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    That seems pretty insulting if so. Can you imagine a situation where a character would need to have it explained to them the difference between the two pronunciations of "tomato" for example?
     
  12. DAN_JMC

    DAN_JMC Catering Officer

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    I agree but that's the best answer i have for that line
     
  13. BruceFivesyth

    BruceFivesyth Third Technician

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    Best:

    Moose gag
    Ate someone from boarding school
    Finger wetting machine

    Worst:

    The phone gag (how many minutes did it waste?)
    The Chinese Whispers stuff (how many minutes did it waste?)
    The Shakespeare stuff (how many minutes did it waste?)
     
  14. ShrunkenPixel

    ShrunkenPixel Second Technician

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    A couple of days after the show's concluded it's starting to dawn on my what my favourite line of the whole series was:

    "You keeled my brother!"

    Despite the quality of the episodes and gags, I don't find myself actually thinking about them unless I'm trying to remember jokes and events from Red Dwarf X. On the other hand, I can't get Hogey the Roguey's phrase out of my skull.

    It's doing my nut in :lol:
     
  15. CaptainHallam

    CaptainHallam Second Technician

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    Best -

    Rimmer: "War and Peace? I want to chill out - relax. Not read a book that's longer than Rapunzels pubic hair."

    Howard Rimmer: (about Kryten) "And you rebuilt him. Gave him something to live for."
    Rimmer: "No, we just hosed him down and gave him a hat."

    Worst -

    Lister trying to lift the dispenser and Rimmer seeing him - unfunny.
    Kryten heat drying the spoons - silly.
    The Shakespeare rant.
    The health a safety speech. The man or the system goes on...and on...and on.
    ERRA -didn't like any of it.
    Cat needing toilet paper
     
  16. Angelic_Storm

    Angelic_Storm Catering Officer

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    Agreed! They were both high points of the whole series, not just of series X. :-)

    Although intitally I did find the Jesus character annoying, I found him much less so on discovering he was not the "real jesus", just somebody who had that name. lol

    Nothing in this series was any more "Scooby Doo" than Cat's comedy running when chased by the heatseekers in "Polymorph", or when the crew put on the escort boots in "Justice". ;-)

    Totally agreed about Craig Charles, and I've been meaning to bring that up for a while now. Although, I guess.... you could logically explain him (Lister the character) not being so overtly scouse now on the fact that he is now a lot older than he was in the classic series'. You could just put that down to maturity, at least in the context of the show, even if we know the real reason is much more likely to be that Craig altered his accent for Corrie. :P xD

    I have to mention the "Seppuku" gag, as it really was a classic moment in this series. Chancellor: "So...you don't want me to... oh, I don't know... commit hara-kiri or anything?" Dominator: "Of course not!" Chancellor: Well, sir, that wasn't made very clear... when you slid the sword across the table, I naturally assumed you wanted me to commit hara-kiri." Dominator: "Well, I did not!" Chancellor: I'm going to go now sir... my Dominator, thank you!" *picks up own innards* Dominator: Oh chancellor... you do have a tendency to jump to conclusions. Let this be a little lesson to you." Chancellor *picking up vital internal organ* Oh, that bit looks important!" :-)
     
  17. lidders2k

    lidders2k Second Technician

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    Best:

    1: They do have an IQ of 2
    2: Right, have you got any lemons
    3: ...you mad, goth bastard


    Worst:

    1: Spoon gag
    2: Phone gag
    3: vending machine humping
     
  18. no_name

    no_name Third Technician

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    Best:
    - The Trojan being towed.
    - "It was a moose sir..." I don't know why but I prefer Kryten's response to The Cat's. :lol:
    - "No we just hosed him down and gave him a hat."
    - "David Listerton-Smythe"
    - Howard: "That's amazing, that's exactly what I was thinking."
    - Cat walking past in the background with the ship map.
    - Waking up in a shopping trolley.
    - Lister Jnr/Lister Snr.
    - "If you've never had a dream, you've never had a dream come true!"
    - "In fact, you're a bit of a nob!" The bit Lister says directly after that is nice too, even if it isn't a joke.
    - "GET YA BAGS"
    - Lister putting more and more kebab onto the console to stop the alarm... and it actually working.
    - Kryten's ERRA speech ending with "Did it work?" "No."
    - "Have you got a pen?" Even though I hate the none reaction to a death, this line pretty much makes up for it.
    - Charades. Shouldn't have been funny but had me in stitches.
    - "You insult my kind saying we are obsessed with duels across time and space, I therefore challenge you to a duel across time and space!"
    - Rimmer's fear speech.
    - Rimmer writing a letter in response to a breach of the Geneva Convention.

    Worst:
    - Chinese whispers. The complete plot.
    - Medi-bot. Not so much a joke but a baaaad performance.
    - "I was speeching!" I don't mind Jesus' accent but that guy is just completely terrible.
    - "When you did the foxtrot was she shaving?"
    - Cat needing the toilet. Even though the line that ended that little plot did make me laugh, the rest was a bit gross.

    There were several scenes that weren't particularly funny, particularly at the start of episodes, but there were only a couple of things I really didn't like. A not particularly funny joke I don't mind but one that makes me cringe or just baffles me as to why it was included is obviously not a good thing.

    I know there are more that I liked and didn't like but those were the ones that popped into my head straight away. Will probably remember a tonne of great and not so great stuff when I do a run through on Saturday (which is when I assume my blu ray will arrive).
     
  19. Angelic_Storm

    Angelic_Storm Catering Officer

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    That whole sequence was just classic Rimmer! Rimmer - "You can't open fire on a surrendering ship. That's a scandalous breach of the niceties of battle!" Dominator - "All ships prepare to fire, on my orders!" Rimmer - "Right! You're on report, miladdo!" xD
     
  20. lidders2k

    lidders2k Second Technician

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    Actually had a rethink due to post after mine.....the cat walking past with a map was bloody hilarious. Funny how you forget these things, roll on my DVD arriving so I can watch them all again
     

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