The Christmas Chronicles (2018)

Discussion in 'THE AIGBURTH ARMS' started by hubbard, Dec 5, 2018.

  1. hubbard

    hubbard Deck Sergeant

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    Ho, Ho...Ho?

    A Netflix movie with a title that kinda suggests a cinematic universe? The hell you say. Anyway I think its fair to say that most of you should guess what the premise of this flick is gonna be. It this the usual Santa schtick or is there some kind of surprise to be had?

    Wait for it!! Deep breath!! Aaand...no it's the usual Santa schtick, sorry. Bottom line, a widow is getting over the recent death of her husband which has of course led to problems in the home with her two kids. Her daughter is generally OK but constantly watches old recordings of her father and fights with her elder brother who has gotten mixed in with a bad crowd and is stealing cars! Nevertheless as you might expect on Christmas Eve they both decide to try and catch Santa and end up fudging up old Saint Nick's plans good and proper. Thusly they all have to work together to save Christmas (ugh!).

    So I basically heard about this and wasn't overly bothered at first but when I saw Kurt Russell standing in that Jack Burton-esque pose on the poster, I was sold. Yes I saw this movie solely based on the fact that Russell was Santa. Had this been anyone else I probably wouldn't have bothered. But is Russell worth the admission? Well yes and no. Firstly yes it was inspired to cast Russell as Santa. I would never have thought of that as Russell just doesn't leap out at me as a Santa type guy. But blow me he sure as hell looks the part with his thick wavy hair dyed grey and white and that glorious beard of his. My only real complaint would be he looks too good, too fit and rugged to be Santa. Is that bad?

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    Admittedly Russell can only work with what he's given and that's not entirely anything original let's be frank. The whole secret Santa thing has been done to death over the decades and there really is little to bring to the table now. So with that said yes everything that happens is kinda neat but totally 'been there, done that, seen it, and bought the t-shirt'. His sleigh typically has all the modern day technological gadgets. His reindeer do what most other magical reindeer do in these films. Santa can magically zoom about in a flash of CGI. Santa also has magical powers like a magician. He uses some kind of time portal to travel around the world. And his sack of presents is bottomless which also leads to his elf driven workshop...I think. Either that or the elf homeworld or Santa's grotto, not actually sure.

    We also have the usual reoccurring questions that pop up with these Christmas adventures. How come no one has seemingly ever seen or exposed Santa before? Until now. He roams about in this movie using his powers and chatting about his unique role quite happily, so one assumes he's always done this, yet nothing has ever cropped up? No news reports, witnesses, or video evidence of any kind? Surely by now Santa would have been exposed. At the start of the adventure they just leave the sleigh where it crashed, just like that! Yet no one comes across it? No one comes across the large lost sack of presents just hanging in a tree in the middle of the city. No one has ever seen any of the elves (which are essentially cutesy copies of 'Gremlins') etc...Basically, with the amount of magic that flies about the place you'd just assume it was impossible that Santa would still remain a secret.

    And I haven't even mentioned the song and dance routine yet! Yes in one of the more original aspects of this movie Russell dons some shades and thumps out a little Christmas number with the help of a small backing band. Despite it all looking very Blues Brothers-like, very quickly any film buff will recognise Russell's Presley-esque techniques which he displayed back in 1979 for John Carpenter's TV movie 'Elvis'. So what we have is Kurt Russell, dressed as Santa, essentially doing Elvis, epic much? But once again this kinda makes you wonder how on earth this guy has managed to remain hidden when he does things like this and doesn't even try to hide his identity (he magically flies up a vent in a puff of red glitter at the end).

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    It also amused me how Santa allowed the young girl to record almost everything on her old camcorder. Sure he takes the tape in the end but still, kinda risky. As for the young duo that accompanies Santa, well they're just your bog standard kids really. The girl is all happy happy, totally believes everything and is full of wonder, rainbows, and unicorn poo. Whilst the elder boy is of course more doubtful, cynical, and harder to convince. A lot of which is down to him struggling to cope with the loss of his father. But as the adventure progresses the duo (mainly the boy) must learn to help each other, be nice, use their brains, and believe in the spirit of Christmas (naturally). Its all about emotions, feelings, and being nice...all that cliched gooey crap. They might have been in a race against the clock but there's always time to stop for some sentimental schmaltz.

    Of course you know exactly how everything will turn out in the end with Santa and the kids. Kinda silly how they ruin the story by essentially hinting at the fact that everything was a setup by Santa to merely get these kids back on track with their mother. Then even more ridiculous when Santa essentially looks towards the camera and suggests he and Mrs. Claus watch the adventure he just had with the kids (all recorded on that old camcorder), which is basically saying to us the audience to keep rewatching this movie. At the same time suggesting it will become a new Christmas classic, we'll see Netflix.

    So overall it's cliched, predictable, and completely unoriginal. The effects are acceptable but obvious CGI and greenscreen abound especially for the sleigh sequences. The youngsters are fine, the elves are oddly violent (chainsaw??), and Santa's long red coat is leather. So yes as you may well have expected its all about Russell and his hip blues singin' Saint Nick. I can honestly say without Russell this would be just another dull jingle bells without the fun. So put simply, it's worth seeing for Russell and that's it, the rest is complete meh.

    6/10

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  2. Ant E

    Ant E Science Officer

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    Is Nick Griffin in it?
     
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  3. neilold

    neilold Science Officer

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    Yes, he plays Santa, and all the better for it
     
  4. Pembers

    Pembers Console Officer

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    Takes all the kids toys back to the factory they came from. That way all the current toys they have will live in paradise forever.
     
  5. Nikki the Great

    Nikki the Great Flight Co-Ordinator

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  6. Bluey

    Bluey Science Officer

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    I always get Kurt Russell and Russell Crowe mixed up.
     
  7. Ant E

    Ant E Science Officer

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    Be a little bit wiser baby put it on, put it on
     
  8. Dave_B_Phillps

    Dave_B_Phillps First Technician

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    thanks we all had a lot of fun
     
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  9. Sammer4Rimmer

    Sammer4Rimmer Supply Officer

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    The feeling of excitement right now is just like way I used to feel as a child on Christmas Eve.
     
  10. Ant E

    Ant E Science Officer

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    Why does @hubbard do this? And contribute NOTHING else?

    We need to know more about you love. Who is lurking inside tht at Mario Kart interior?
     
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  11. Nikki the Great

    Nikki the Great Flight Co-Ordinator

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    His profile has a link to his website. He doesn't look a bit like I thought he would.
     
  12. neilold

    neilold Science Officer

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    Didn't even know Hubbs had a website till it was just mentioned. That's really cool. I like him even more now
     
  13. neilold

    neilold Science Officer

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    Where is the pic of him, in in what section
    is it???
     
  14. hubbard

    hubbard Deck Sergeant

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    So what did you expect?
     
  15. Ant E

    Ant E Science Officer

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    You’re fit hubs :redface:
     
  16. Nikki the Great

    Nikki the Great Flight Co-Ordinator

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    [​IMG]
     
  17. Nikki the Great

    Nikki the Great Flight Co-Ordinator

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    Stop being nosey Neil, gosh! You're trying to steal @Bluey's gimmick!
     
  18. Bluey

    Bluey Science Officer

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    Yes, leave the noseyness to me, Neil. I do it better than you.
     
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  19. Ant E

    Ant E Science Officer

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    We’ve noticed!!!! :roll::roll::roll::roll::roll::roll::roll:
     
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  20. Asclepius

    Asclepius Deck Sergeant

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    This
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