The forum general election!

Discussion in 'THE AIGBURTH ARMS' started by jmc2000, Sep 20, 2017.

  1. jmc2000

    jmc2000 Deck Sergeant

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    I'm calling a snap general election. If you want to be prime minister, please post your party name and a précis of your manifesto for the Aigburth Arms (note that this is a forum election - no real life politics, please!).

    Alternatively, if you like the look of an existing party, you can ask to join it as a cabinet member. Parties with no support will wither on the vine (or maybe they won't, and we'll end up with a coalition of chaos).

    Please note that the election itself will be "first past the post". None of that fancy-pants continental stuff here!

    Let the hustings commence...
     
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  2. Nikki the Great

    Nikki the Great Console Officer

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    So whoever wins runs the forum, ammirite?
     
  3. jmc2000

    jmc2000 Deck Sergeant

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    I'll get the ball rolling.

    Party: The Smart Party

    Slogan: We didn't come here looking for trouble. We just came for sustainable fiscal policy.

    Policies:

    Domestic

    1) A dress code (with dress-down Fridays);
    2) All posts to begin "Dear Sirs" and end "Yours sincerely" (or "Yours faithfully");
    3) A subsidised "cycle to the forum" scheme;
    4) An "open doors" policy on newbies, to encourage a flood of them for the new series;
    5) A forum Olympiad, to be held at a brand new, purpose-built thread in the Aigburth Arms;
    6) New red buses (fondly known as "jmc buses") to ferry people between the various sub-forums.

    Foreign

    1) We will establish an embassy in the My Little Pony forum;
    2) We will seek to build better relations with G&T;
    3) We will work to build lasting peace on social media;
    4) We will sign a non-proliferation treaty on trolls.
     
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  4. BigOleDummy

    BigOleDummy Deck Sergeant

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    Location:
    Planet Express Hdg, N. America , Earth, Sol System
    Party : Dummies United!

    Slogan : Dummies run the world so just admit it and join already.

    Policies :

    Domestic

    1 - No dress code (nakedness preferred)
    2 - Posts MUST be liked if by another party member. (Dummies should stick together!)
    3 - No tolerance for misspelling's or excessive emoji's.
    4 - Newbies MUST address First Technicians and above by Sir/Maam or Your Grand Poobahness.
    5 - Dodgeball to weed out the infirm and lazy. If you can prove just cause, a video game MAY be substituted if approved by committee and/or His Grand Dumminess (me :-D)

    Foreign

    1 - Relentless spam and trolling to the My Little Pony forum! (Nothing worse than a Brony!)
    2 - Alignment with the Church of Elvis (for the Blue Suede Shoes)
    3 - A thorough and deep cleaning of this most wonderful of all forums Multiple account holders. One per person please.
    4 - No tolerance policy on outside trollers.

    Throw off your chains of intellect! You have nothing to lose and a forum to win!
     
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  5. BigOleDummy

    BigOleDummy Deck Sergeant

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    A Political Ad A Political Ad A Political Ad A Political Ad A Political Ad

    DUMMIES UNITED PROMISES A CHICKEN IN EVERY POT!!




    [​IMG]
    VOTE EARLY! VOTE OFTEN!

    I'm RealBigOleDummy© and I approved this message
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2017
  6. FeeBee

    FeeBee Deck Sergeant

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    I'm going to sit by and see who else joins up before I decide with party I will support.
     
  7. BigOleDummy

    BigOleDummy Deck Sergeant

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    Hmmmmmmm...... so you're an undecided voter then? I better call some Russians to help influence the electorate.
     
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  8. Pembers

    Pembers Deck Sergeant

    Messages:
    2,450
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    Location:
    London
    Party:

    Auctore Thoma


    Slogan: We won't not fail to fall short of breaking all our election promises.

    Policies:

    Domestic

    1) Free Clothes
    2) Payrises for all forum members
    3) Free Bikes
    4) 10 new forum members every day.
    5) Free Pizza
    6) Bacon

    Foreign

    1) Free Nelson Mandela
    2) Invasion and Colonisation of all other websites.
    3) Free turkey
    4) Profiteroles
     
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  9. BigOleDummy

    BigOleDummy Deck Sergeant

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    Another hat thrown in the ring! :wave: Now I KNOW I need to call Vlad :nod:

    *Like the name though*
     
  10. jmc2000

    jmc2000 Deck Sergeant

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    Embarrassed to report I don't understand the name, @Pembers. Is it a Harry Potter spell?

    "Written by Thomas"?
     
  11. BigOleDummy

    BigOleDummy Deck Sergeant

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    Pretty sure it means something along the lines of "by Thomas" in Latin. In Arabic its closer to "There is More". At least that's what I'm going with.

    Good news for us Dummies United though! If its that hard to "get" then ...... hehehe that's more votes for Dummies!
     
  12. Nikki the Great

    Nikki the Great Console Officer

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    Whoever gets in, I'm basically gonna protest about you and incite a massive riot. Sorry etc.
     
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  13. FeeBee

    FeeBee Deck Sergeant

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    If everyone votes you in will you still riot?
     
  14. BigOleDummy

    BigOleDummy Deck Sergeant

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    Protest? ME? But...... but....... I have Kittens! and.... and Puppies! But you know........ that's the EXACT attitude we're looking for in DUMMIES UNITED! Would you consider a cabinet position? Besides........................ we have kitties in cups! Puppies! Chickens in all our pots!
     
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2017
  15. BigOleDummy

    BigOleDummy Deck Sergeant

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    SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!! SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!!
    In the best political tradition of being everything to everybody and pandering to every special interest group .....
    DUMMIES UNITED! has upped the ante once again! Not only will we support YOUR favorite cause, we will write it into our governing manifesto! Come one! Come all! DUMMIES UNITED! is on YOUR side! No more will you be a voiceless consumer of political lies, YOU can be the prevaricator! Generations untold will sing your praises! Show the world what Dummies can do when they are United! If THATS not enough ................. then how about ........... FREE Beer?!
    [​IMG]
    Along with all the previous bribes.... er, um I mean incentives including
    Kittens in a Cup! Aren't they adorable? And they could be YOURS!
    [​IMG]
    We can't forget the cute as can be, melt your heart PUPPIES!
    [​IMG]
    And of course for the more practical of our body politic ... A Chicken in every Pot!
    [​IMG] Plus a lifetime FREE membership in the RealBigOleDummy© FAN CLUB! and did I mention..
    [​IMG]
    Just in case those Puppies and Kittens distracted you hehe.

    VOTE EARLY! VOTE OFTEN! VOTE DUMMIES UNITED!
    I'm the RealBigOleDummy© and I approved this message!
     
  16. FeeBee

    FeeBee Deck Sergeant

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    Take the R out of Free Beer and you get Fee Bee ;-)
     
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  17. Ant E

    Ant E Flight Co-Ordinator

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    I'm sure Seb's quaking in his boots
     
  18. Cloud

    Cloud Console Officer

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    Location:
    Death Valley
    Party:

    The Tex Rimmer alliance


    Slogan: Bring back Tex Rimmer

    Policies:

    Domestic

    1) Tex Rimmers return
    2) Free Chinstrap beards for all
    3) All trousers must now be filled with Guffs
    4) One free reservation to every Tesco and Debenhams
    5) 1 free fake wife per person
    6) The resurrection of KRY10

    Foreign

    1) A Tex Rimmer in ever country
    2) Maybe some multi cultural Tex Rimmers. Like a Mexican Texo Rimmero
    3) A Free caravan holiday for all
    4) the ability to tag anyone from any part of the world
     
  19. neilold

    neilold Flight Co-Ordinator

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    above you all in cheshire
    as a strong fan of politics. I have to say I am the classic flapper this time. So many promises. How many of you can promise to give £350 million cash from the EU to the NHS? What about scrapping tuition fees? It's a tricky one, who will stick to their manifesto promises, who will flip flop, what about beer for questions? I wanna know what the polls are saying, besides everybody is as likely to win as everybody else.
     
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  20. BigOleDummy

    BigOleDummy Deck Sergeant

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    The Polls have DUMMIES UNITED! ahead by a landslide....... and if NOT then..... well , guess ole Vlad and his bots and buddies will get a call.
     

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