(Taking inspiration from the finale of Seinfeld) The boys have come across a planet with a breathable atmosphere, teaming with life, vegetation, transport, cities, entertainment, education, healthcare, the lot. They decide to check it out and see if it's worth starting a life here. There is one problem, this is a very advanced civilization and selfishness, immorality and dishonesty are illegal. Upon arrival the law enforcement agency perform a mind probe, detecting possible infringements of these laws so they put the crew on trial, using super space age whizzy things to call as witnesses anyone who has come across them. Remember this is Red Dwarf so anyone that has died can be brought back as a hologram for the purpose of the trial. I'll start, feel free to join in everyone. Me2 Rimmer: "Me and Rimmer had a falling out and it was decided that we couldn't both stay, one us had to go. I won fair and square and the other Rimmer was to be wiped. I was looking forward to a long and happy life looking after Listy, keeping him sane and having some crazy madcap adventures, next thing I know.......... next thing I know is it's 30 years later and the bastard wiped me, for no reason whatsoever." Deb Lister: "He turns up out of nowhere, sleeps with me, a female version of himself the sicko, get's pregnant, runs off with the kids, discovers it was too much like hard work, brings them back as 18 year olds and dumps them on me. How many times has he visited? Zero, why didn't he stay? God knows.