Who doesn't like us, and why not?

Discussion in 'THE AIGBURTH ARMS' started by jmc2000, Oct 15, 2017.

  1. Jarvio

    Jarvio Second Technician

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    Just want to make clear, whether folks believe me or not, I did indeed receive a PM (a rather long one). And they mentioned that "this small group" have bullied many members in the past. No names were mentioned. Just, "this small group". Abe asked me in a PM if I had contact with someone called Davidjames or something like that. This David guy, was not the person who PMed me. It was someone else. And they started the pm by saying they were going to post it in the thread, but didn't want to make things worse. Now I could tell you who it was, but I find that unfair plus I really don't want to stir anything up, especially since this argument was supposed to be over.

    I also want to make clear, whether folks believe me or not, that I wasn't trying to manipulate anyone. I was honestly, genuinely saying how I felt. I don't know how I could have made it clearer - I did something bad, then apologised for it, but then after a few apologies, I felt I was being bullied, or baited, or tormented, whatever word you like. My point was, I apologised, and didn't mention bullying until a bit later down the line. I wasn't trying to manipulate or trick anyone, and no did I want the attention. I wanted it to end. Hence me deleting some of my posts and requesting others did the same because the thread went down the toilet. All my posts were still visible to all in the form of quotes too, so I wasn't trying to hide any evidence. I already admitted what I said was wrong, a long long time ago. So why would I 'hide' evidence when I had already admitted to saying things that were wrong?

    RIP says some people thought his side were the villains. Well that's not the only side that were painted as villains - I was being painted as a villain too, hence my frustration, and now it seems people DO think I'm the villain, which is quite upsetting to me considering I did everything I could in that thread to clear my name. My weakness was I got too angry all the time, because I do get angry, because things get to me a lot. I really, really, truly hope it's just a massive misunderstanding between both parties, because I actually hate conflict. I really do. And those initial comments that started it all, I am obviously very sorry for. I was not in a good mood at the time, that doesn't excuse what I said though.

    So Cruel Slayer, I wasn't trying to do anything, or trick anyone. I was saying what I thought was right, albeit too angrily.
     
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2017
  2. Ant E

    Ant E Flight Co-Ordinator

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    Currently leaving the forum for an unspecified amount of time.

    Plough on Mr Taylor.
     
  3. jmc2000

    jmc2000 Deck Sergeant

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    Thanks for joining the thread @Jarvio.

    I didn't think you set out to entrap us - I think you had a bad day and posted some flames, and then I got angry myself at the subsequent comments you made.

    I think half the problem was that your music is clearly a very emotive issue for you, and you believed the digs were an under-the-belt response. But others were bewildered by that, and felt they were actually quite a mild comeback. Then they grew incensed (and made further digs) on being called "bullies". I didn't get angry myself until I felt you were making the "bully" thing stick (until then, if you re-read my responses, they were all quite measured).

    Obviously I'm really curious to know who the PMer was, but you're entitled to protect that information (although you haven't extended poor @Abe but more Halloween themed the same PM protection, lol). So, this is an open invitation to the mystery PMer to join us here for more truth and reconciliation.
     
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  4. Nikki the Great

    Nikki the Great Console Officer

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    Don't leave. Stay.
     
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  5. Deep_Space_in_the_15th_Century

    Deep_Space_in_the_15th_Century Supply Officer

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    @R.I.P. 2000 The fact that you said "who doesn't like us" without feeling the need to specify who "us" is probably says it all, don't you think? Who is the "us" under discussion?
     
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2017
  6. Jarvio

    Jarvio Second Technician

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    Fair enough RIP. I hope we can put that whole thing behind us.

    And yeah, I just don't wanna stir things more by releavling the PMer. But if they want to come forward, that's up to them.

    And Abe's PM was nothing bad or against you, or anyone. He just had a question about something I said in the thread that's all. Sorry if that caused any confusion.
     
  7. jmc2000

    jmc2000 Deck Sergeant

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    I think there's a perception that we're a "gang", certainly - hence the thread!

    EDIT: And we're known to be friends who socialise and have communications off-forum.
     
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  8. Bluey

    Bluey Science Officer

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    Why are you leaving us, Ant? And right in the middle of a new season as well when there's so much to talk about.
     
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  9. Nikki the Great

    Nikki the Great Console Officer

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    <throws some gang signs>
     
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  10. jmc2000

    jmc2000 Deck Sergeant

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    Sorry, just saw this bit.

    Well, this isn't an exhaustive list of the people I get on with here - but I don't think anyone will be offended at being left out, given that I'm trying to list what is essentially the (to some) forum d*ckhead gang.

    @R.I.P. 2000, @Pumpkinikki, @Shroud, @Dismembers, @Abe but more Halloween themed, possibly @Ant the Dragon (although I consider him more a force of nature), and @EasterBunny who only appears in chat.
     
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  11. Jarvio

    Jarvio Second Technician

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    No tactics from me. I just wanted to clear my name, it's all I ever wanted, but my anger and frustration got the better of me. And I've already said why I deleted the posts.
     
  12. Pembers

    Pembers Deck Sergeant

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  13. Slainmonkey

    Slainmonkey Deck Sergeant

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    While you're entitled to feel how you do, I think you shouldn't let what one person said get to you this much. In all honestly there are more people here who would want you to stay. However if this is what you actually need to do for yourself, then I hope your break serves you well. I do hope you won't be gone too long though!
     
  14. Paul Taylor

    Paul Taylor Console Officer

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    As a recent returnee, I had no idea the thread title and opening post was specifically refered to one group of people (and I'm still not sure who or how many people belong to that group), or I wouldn't have mentioned blocking Ant E. I thought it was a thread for airing general attitudes about other members. Having known JMC 2000 on this forum for many years, I'd be surprised to find he was the sort to succumb to the kind of group mentality that makes him a bully, or causes him to exclude others.
     
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  15. Deep_Space_in_the_15th_Century

    Deep_Space_in_the_15th_Century Supply Officer

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    [​IMG]

    @R.I.P. 2000 There's your answer then. You started a thread called "who doesn't like us?" without explaining who "us" was, but regulars knew. Does that not indicate the problem right there, namely that there's a clique who act like they own the place?

    They treat the forum like it's their own private chat in which to carry out their dramas, vendettas, gossip and bullying. The Tex Rimmer thing. The Simulant thing. The Danny thing. The Kry10 thing. The Bluey thing. Is there a Bluey thing? I don't know, there are so many of these in-jokes the rest of us have to decipher. If it's not drama and bullying then it's memes and generally telling people they don't care about them. Mocking @squeal mold all the time. I'll take a @squeal mold thread over a Tex Rimmer thread or a latest-chat-group-drama thread. Seriously, you're happy to post all this gossipy quasi-bullying about other users, then you complain that @squeal mold started a horror thread. You don't care about horror films? Fair enough - we don't care about your clique-drama and in-jokes.

    There are certain members of "us" who I've never actually seen talk about Red Dwarf on here. I've seen "us" break the rules so many times, but they never seem to get any punishment, because there's favoritism around here. It's all about whether you're in the in-crowd or not. One rule for the in-crowd and another for the rest of us. Maybe if "us" actually came out of the Aigburth Arms and talked about Red Dwarf once in a while, the division wouldn't be so stark? People start threads and then the cool people come along and spam one of their in-jokes over it as if to say "you're beneath us, we're the cool people".

    Whilst I'm not the mystery PMer in question, I am a mystery grass on the report button. No one should be above the law, no matter how popular or long-standing they are. Nothing ever happens, mind. At least not anything I ever see. Here's one I sent to @Seb from this thread: "Another post where a user is being blatantly abused in violation of the rules. Ant E is calling another user a "twat", a "coward", a "worm" and a "douche". If that's not ad hominem abuse then what is. Why is Ant E above the law?" So there's your answer, @Ant E. I think you should be banned because you constantly abuse people. It seems to be your raison d'etre around here. You've been on ignore for some time so if you reply with a string of abuse I might not see it, but I'll take it as read that you think I'm a coward, a twat, a backseat-moderator, etc. I only saw that post because I had to unignore everyone to make sense of this thread.

    I also reported one of your posts in that latest stoush, @R.I.P. 2000. You called @Jarvio a pillock, a dick, and/or other epithets. You're normally very reasonable and affable and if it weren't for you filling in plot-holes with me I mightn't have stayed as long as I have. But you've got your nose buried so far up @Pumpkinikki's arse that any criticism of her and you spring to her defense like a white knight. The pattern is so predictable, someone tells @Pumpkinikki to pack it in, her male harem instantly close ranks around her. I've seen this two or three times in my tenure. Why do you think there's so many accusations of bullying leveled at the same person/group, if there's nothing to it? I'm not surprised by the mystery PM, though I'm not going to spend hours researching precise citations. Look how she treats @squeal mold, for example. Telling him what threads he can and cannot start, the sarcastic quips about his hacking skills. If the thread doesn't meet with @Pumpkinikki and @Shroud's approval they're sure to let everyone know by posting memes at each other, implicitly snickering about how much better they are than everyone else.

    The fact that we can ignore people is beside the point. I do ignore people. If I didn't then I'd probably wear out the report button. But sometimes you unignore to figure out what's going on, or for some technicality still see it on the main page. Regardless, I think it's fair to ask why certain users are above the law and express an opinion on the behavior of people you ignore, especially when asked. In my tenure of just over a year there's been I think one act of official rule enforcement? When @squeal mold was "warned" for an anti-immigration avatar.

    I find it remarkable that it's okay to hurl abuse at other members of the forum, but an anti-immigration avatar gets an official warning. I think @squeal mold gets bullied. He's a grown man and from what I recently read once bottled someone, so I'm sure he's not crying into his cornflakes about it. Still, take an objective look at the Aigburth Arms and tell me @squeal mold doesn't get bullied. @squeal mold, you start as many horror threads as you please, and there aren't enough threads about immigrants and old food products. If they're allowed to bore us to tears with all their drama and memes and gossip, then why shouldn't you be allowed to start separate threads for every single horror film. A horror film thread is more interesting than a meme/drama thread.

    I was one of the people who complained to @Seb about the Tex Rimmer in-joke dominating the forum. And I'm aware that I did once make a Tex Rimmer joke myself, long after the fact. I figured if you can't beat 'em join 'em, and I thought the joke was appropriate in context because it neatly brought two of these things together, the Tex meme and the latest drama over sockpuppeting. I was taking the piss and doing my best to participate in a thread on a forum where all threads should be open to everyone, but most of us don't know the ins and outs when it's more drama from the chat-group, but it's still put in front of us.
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2017
  16. Ant E

    Ant E Flight Co-Ordinator

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    Oh I was only going to bed....

    Did I not make that clear?!!
     
  17. Cloud

    Cloud Console Officer

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    I disagree with what @everyone thinks about this.
     
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  18. Ant E

    Ant E Flight Co-Ordinator

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    Responded to this in another thread to avoid derailing it.

    Although i hope @Deep_Space_in_the_15th_Century’s utter hypocrisy is plain for all to see
     
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  19. neilold

    neilold Flight Co-Ordinator

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    I think everyone's hypocrisy is plain to see. They're definite cliques on here, and there's definite rounding on certain people. Maybe justified sometimes, maybe not. But it's an issue and an unpleasant one to witness either way, and one hinted at in my original post. I think a lot of people on here like to stir, and then play the victim card, this is then expounded on by their clique agreeing with them. people certainly enjoy talking about it, and the fact that this thread is already four pages long, and about to become five, is living proof of that, and yes' I'm aware of the fact that i'm adding to that myself. There is also a definite snobbery around those that think they rule the forum, assumingly because they think time spent on here, or number of forum buddies, somehow gives them some kind of authority.

    As for my own warnings on here, I pretty much treat them with indifference and disdain. So whether I am myself receiving special treatment, by getting them in the first place , or not actually being banned in the second, is another issue entirely
     
  20. Ant E

    Ant E Flight Co-Ordinator

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    Don’t you find it odd? These so called “old members” popping out of the woodwork being offended by stuff?
     
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