Poetry competition winner announced.

23 November, 2012

Last week, a fabulous poetry competition run in conjunction with BBC Worldwide on this very site gave one lucky fan the chance to waltz away with all manner of Red Dwarf related goodness: a full collection of every series on DVD, a limited art print, a genuine "JC" bag, and even a piece of Red Dwarf itself. Ooh, shiny.


To be in with a chance of winning, all the entrants had to do was compose a five-line limerick relating to Red Dwarf. Sounds nice and easy. The catch? The judges for the competition were none other than the thoroughly exacting gang of Doug Naylor, Craig Charles, Chris Barrie, Danny John-Jules and Robert Llewellyn.

After hundreds of entries were whittled down to a ten-strong shortlist, the gang picked their favourite - and congratulations are due to Craig Tonks, who managed to aptly sum up the entire premise of a twenty-five-year-old sci-fi comedy in five short lines. And as a special bonus reward, here are the cast - including noted performance poet Mr Charles - reading it out:

There once was a ship that was red
Whose crew, for the most part, were dead
Wiped out on a mission
By the second technician
What a total and utter smeg head!

While Craig's poem waltzed away with the top spot and bag of swag, we also felt it was worth spotlighting a couple of excellent runners-up. The final judgment was an extremely close call, and the standard of entries high throughout the competition, so please reserve some of your praise for these marvellous efforts from Liev Williamson and Steve Ricketts respectively:

There was a mad toaster unable
To stop grilling bap, bun or bagel
He was made to desist
By lump hammer and fist
Now in pieces on Dave's breakfast table.

There once was a spacebum called Lister
Who met an old flame, so he kissed her
But the girl that he saw
Was a bug with a straw
And not really Pete Tranter's sister.

Congratulations to these three, and well done to everybody who entered!

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