Everything you could ever wonder about @Cloud!

Discussion in 'THE AIGBURTH ARMS' started by Abe, Nov 28, 2017.

  1. Abe

    Abe Deck Sergeant

    Oct 6, 2016
    You've sent off every possible question to @Cloud, and, ladies and gentlemen, he has answered every last one! Without further ado, here is @Cloud's interview!

    Cloud note- I did this in word then copied it back over to ease, but it changed the number of every question to 1. this made me laugh so i kept it like this.

    Cloud note 2- Cloud Rules

    Cloud note 3- :sulk:

    1. If your wife asked you to to poo on her, would you?
    Probably even if she didn’t ask as well
    1. How many Tex's would Tex Rimmer rim, if Tex Rimmer could rim Tex?
    I am gonna say 57. Tex rimmer is versatile
    1. Favourite board member?
    1. Least favourite board member?
    1. Board member you'd most like to return?
    …Do we even need to ask this one? BRING BACK TEX RIMMER
    1. Board member you'd least like to return?
    Hmm While we have had some stinkers and I wouldn’t like Harry or anything to return at least he provides a laugh with his insanity. I would say Jed. He just sux.
    1. Favourite forum moment?
    Hmm I can’t really remember any of the top of my head. Sometimes just seeing the nonsense Ant comes off with is pretty funny. That time that guitar guy got all angry with everyone for no reason in a thread about Red Dwarf was kind of funny.
    1. Least favourite forum moment?
    That time I spent an hour going through all Tex Rimmers old posts to like them so he would become top of the likes list. It took hours and in the end wasn’t as funny as I thought it was gonna be.
    1. Are you embarrassed to have been associated with Harry now?
    Yeah I am. I hope people forget that some day. He is a lunatic. He probably wouldn’t agree with my new Debenhams free lifestyle either.
    1. Opinions on Neil Old?
    Please God no more Horror threads. Here is my example of all Neil old Threads

    “nonsense title”

    “youtube link to horror movie trailer”

    That’s it. Over and over and over. The only one who encourages him is @Bluey
    1. Best thing Kry10 ever did?
    That time he got stuck in Turkey was pretty funny.
    1. Who is Jason Cook?
    I consulted my magic 8 ball on this one, it replied with “outlook not so eyebrows”
    1. If you had to take a dump in just one forum members hat, whose would it be?
    As always I would take a dump in Jeds hat. It is the go to hat for taking a big smelly plop in. Although @Nikki the Great has been wearing a Christmas hat lately that has been making my bowels go all a tingle.
    1. Opinion on Simulant's willy?
    The time he exposed it to @Nikki the Great was a bad day in forum/chat history. @Nikki the Great has still to confirm if it is as hairless as above his eyes.
    1. Do you ever miss your long flowing viking hair and beard?
    It is a lot easier to wash and brush in the morning. Having to go for regular hair cuts wears a little thin though. I think nikz misses it more than I do.
    1. What would Tex Rimmer think of this interview?
    I think Tex would be proud. I think he would probably crown me a worth disciple of Tex.
    1. What would Tex Rimmer think of Kry10?
    I think he would wonder what @kry10 thought about things and probably enjoy his youtube channel. I think he would like the dramatic intros his videos have.
    1. What would your death row meal be?
    Probably the biggest dirtiest kebab anyone has ever seen. Or I would eat something I really hate so I would be glad I was dying.
    1. Favourite WWE wrestler ever?
    1. Favourite attraction at Universal?
    I like jurrasic park. Or maybe the Dudley Do right log flume. I used to love the Back to the future ride but they replaces that with a stinky Simpsons one which I don’t like.
    1. Would you rather have hands made of jelly or feet made of ice-cream?
    I don’t like Jelly so probably Ice cream…although I am not super bothered by Ice Cream either. But I need these hands for…activities. I also hate moving so wouldn’t mind losing my feet.
    1. Abe is a Clam.
    This isn’t even a question this is just a fact.
    1. Who would play you in a movie about your life?
    Maybe Tom Hanks. Looking as he does when he goes running in Forest Gump

    1. If you could go into space on a mining ship, would you?
    Yeah I think I might. I don’t have to do any mining though do I?
    1. What time is it?
    Right now it is 09:23 on a Monday morning. I should probably start doing work but I don’t wanna.
    1. When and how did you become a Red Dwarf fan?
    I actually have no idea. I was really young. I think my parents put it on cause they thought I would like it cause its in space and I did. I was born in 87 and had the Series 2 byte 1 VHS when it was new...so I must have been really young. Maybe that’s why I am so rude and filthy because I was exposed (lol exposed) to this stuff at a young age
    1. What's your favourite Red Dwarf episode and why?
    Quarantine. I just think it’s the funniest. The manage to pack a lot into it. Also why I don’t mind the new series abrupt endings so much as this episode has a very Deus Ex Machina ending where everything sort of gets solved right away. But I think its funny.
    1. What's your favourite Red Dwarf season and why?
    5, I don’t think there is a single episode I don’t like. Also probably with 3 a close second. Both are just great episodes .
    1. If you have read them, what do you think of the Red Dwarf novels?
    I have only read the first two (I think) The ones written by both Rob and Doug. I remember liking them well enough. But it was years ago and I don’t remember much about them. I don’t like that they make Lister more skeezy than likeable though.
    1. What other sites do you visit?
    I usually browse Reddit when I am bored at work, there is a subreddit for everything and there is usually some good stories and things to pass the time. Or I watch things on youtube most nights.
    1. What are your interests outside of Red Dwarf?
    I like Video games, WWE, Tex Rimmer, Kebabs, Movies, Watching LP or video game stuff on Youtube, Dank Memes, I like to watch CSI with my dad as well.
    1. What do you do for a living?
    I am a Admin of sorts. I write up little packs about where to put broadband.
    1. Have you ever met anyone from the forum?
    Nope I don’t think so. Living in Ireland makes it hard (LOL MAKES IT HARD)
    1. What do you like so much about Orlando?
    I like the weather, the Food, the attractions, the fact it’s a foreign place but I understand the language, everything really.
    1. Favorite three crew member's on Star Trek : The Next Generation.
    Picard, Riker, Data. Probably in that Order. I of course only mean Beard Riker. I would like Worf if he would shut up about Honour though.
    1. How many Kabobs do you eat in a year?
    I assume this means Kebabs, Kabobs are those things on a stick right? Cause Kabobs never. As for kebabs….jeez. Lets see. I have been back from Florida like 2 weeks and have had about 3 already. I would say maybe in the 50s? …how am I still alive?

    Here is a pic of one of my glorious kebabs


    That gorgeous thing is a chicken and doner mixed on naan with kebab sauce.
    1. How often do you watch a Red Dwarf episode, any episode?
    Its hard to think right now because I feel I have watched a lot with the new series and the Blu Ray coming out. So I have watched a lot recently. On other times…I have no real set pattern. With it on Netflix its really easy to just put on in the background though. I would say at least every month I have seen at least 1 episode if that makes sense.
    1. Batman, Superman or Dr. Strange?
    Batman. I don’t like superman and think he is boring. The only Dr. Strange thing I have ever seen is that Cucumber patch movie and I didn’t like it very much. Batman is cool though. I especially like that film where he has the rubber nips.
    1. You're Lister, what forum member would Holly bring back as a hologram to keep you sane?
    That’s tough probably @Nikki the Great. We have a similar sense of humour and could probably amuse ourselves with causing some trouble. If not that then maybe myself. Like a sort of cloud². No one amuses me more like myself.
    1. Have you ever had a homosexual experience?
    One time I was having a fry up, I dropped the sausage from it on the floor and slipped and fell on it and it went in my bum (I was eating this fry up in the nude naturally) and it felt nice and warm up there. So probably that.
    1. Will you ever bear a litter of children?
    God I hope not. I hate kids. I have a cat that is a trouble maker so that’s enough for me
    1. What do you do for a job?
    Wait…did was this not asked? I will make something up this time. Yeah I am secretly Hitler. I didn’t die in that bunker I moved to near Belfast and have been trolling online the last 70 odd years. I am not all bad. I do got that sweet ‘stach.

    Nikki the Great and Cloud like this.
  2. Abe

    Abe Deck Sergeant

    Oct 6, 2016
    1. Who would you most like to meet on the forum and why?
    All my gang, Stu, Nikz, Adam, Abe, Dick, Tex Rimmer, KRY10, Ant, Lynsey Calver, undies, bluey, tex rimmer, Cloud, Smurfy, Tex Rimmer.
    1. Is it time Bluey resigned as mod?
    Then who would keep law and order? Stu might take over then? Power will go to his head. Stu would make a tyrannical leader.
    1. Do you think Abe will manage to publish this within seven years?
    Just so everyone knows. I am doing this right now on Monday 27th November in the morning. If it doesn’t go up until 18 months from now you know it wasn’t my fault
    1. Do you have a hairy chest?
    Around my boobs area is kind of hairy but its not overly hairy. I would take a picture to turn everyone on but I am sitting in the office.
    1. Have you ever met Danny in person?
    Danny John-Jules? No. I did meet Robert Llewellyn though. This is who you meant right?
    1. Whom on the forum is most likely to own binoculars (besides Bluey)?
    I would say it is something @jmc2000 would own. He seems the binoculars sort. Nikki maybe as well. Stu would use them only for bird watching or something weird. Nikki would watch people changing.
    1. Kry10 - what a disaster his meet up was eh?
    I am still waiting to see if I won that raffle!
    1. How come ant remembers Tex and not you? Perhaps it highlights how irrelivant Tex was?
    Whoever wrote this has offended me. Tex is love. Tex is life.
    1. Do you miss Harry? Explain either way...
    No! He is a lunatic . he said some nasty things and has spent the past year generally being a weird nuisance. I will admit it is kind of funny sometimes (in a laughing at him not with him kind of way) but it is pretty sad. I assume he is keeping himself busy though with Mothers day coming up
    1. Do you miss simulant? Explain either way.
    Eww no. He was just a nasty eyebrowless bozo. He was just generally horrible. They day we learned that he had no eyebrows and a desperate clinging at youth haircut. What a fool.
    1. Do you miss Andrew Ellard? Explain either way.
    Not especially. I don’t really remember him too much now. He did think he was beezer though. But in fairness he never banned me and I am sure I had it coming a few times.
    1. Do you miss
    More than words can ever express
    1. Would you like to miss BigOleDummy? Don’t explain either way.
    This told me not to explain. Do I just not answer?
    1. Is the word “bloomers” funny?
    Its ok I suppose. Its not as funny as enormous Wilbert.
    1. Do you regularly bleach your toilet?
    I use toilet duck is that the same thing? And I do it quite often. Because I give that toilet a good seeing too on the reg.
    1. How much do you pay for bread ?
    I think about 80p? I get Hovis wholemeal. I think its that much. I have no idea I just throw it in when doing a big shop.
    1. Whatever happened to Lynsey Calver?
    Her head probably inflated so much from how beezer she thinks she is and it popped. I think I read about that somewhere.
    1. Which decade was the best for music.
    The 80’s Safety dance 4 life.
    1. Which decade was the best for fashion.
    The 80’s A high collared neon smeg 4 life.
    1. What do you think about the NHS right now?
    I thought this said the NHL at first and thought this was hockey and I dunno anything about Hockey. Also I dunno anything about the NHS. I havn’t really been sick in a while. But I would rather what we have than having to pay for it like in America.
    1. What makes you happy in life?
    A good video game, a big kebab, and no one making me do anything.
    1. What would you do, if Tex Rimmer returned?
    I have went over this scenario so many times in my mind. I don’t know what I would do. So many emotions flying through me. In any event I would get down and start saying “we’re not worthy” Waynes World style
    1. What do you think about all this?
    I think this is all good.
    1. Have you ever met Tex Rimmer in real life?
    I wish. I think I would have mentioned it 700 odd times if I had.
    1. Is Mrs. Cloud also fan of Tex Rimmer?
    I don’t think she understands. Everynow and again I will ask her what she thinks Tex Rimmer thinks about this, or if she thinks Tex Rimmer will return. She pretends to be amused which is more than you can ask for I suppose.
    1. How was your wedding and honeymoon?
    It was very nice. I havn’t eaten that much in well over a year I am surprised I didn’t balloon up to WWE wrestler Viscera size.


    Apart from that it was all great though. I really had a nice time and it all went smoothly with no incident. I don’t like all those people looking at me though.
    1. 69 lol [note from Abe: this question was mildly funnier when it was question 69 instead of question 1]
    LOL well if you are offering.
    1. Did you meet any cowboys that knew Tex Rimmer in the USA?
    I asked but the word of Tex has not reached Florida yet. I have done my part though hopefully soon.
    1. Did you also visit TEXas?
    I wish I could have. I have a feeling the journey to find Tex begins there. We should form a Forum search party and all fly to Texas and hunt down our long lost hero.
    1. Did you meet Abe or any other clams in the USA?
    There was some Clam like people but no one up to THE clam level of Abe himself.
    1. Did you meet BigOleDummy or any other robots in the USA?
    I don’t think I met Bigoledummy but I can’t really confirm that. Disney was full of Robots though…maybe he was one of them.
    1. What's your opinion on washing machines?
    Up until recently I hadn’t give them much thought but hearing about @jmc2000s washing machine company he didn’t tell us about I am all about them. I just hope he will give us some of his vast washing machine fortune. Also hoovers.
    1. How old were you when you started watching Red Dwarf?
    I think I mentioned this b-fo, but I don’t remember. Very young though. I remember getting in trouble in school for giving someone the finger cause I seen Rimmer do it to Ace Rimmer. So that was 92 or so wasn’t it? I was 5 then.
    1. Tex Rimmer?
    HE SUX
    HE SUX
    1. WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ON [removed because it is a naughty word]-TASTIC
    HE SUX (Also Abe I dunno if ya gotta but you may need to edit his name there)
    Rebecca is terrible. She thought she was hot stuff. Remember that time she asked to see my willy. That time Dick laid the smackdown was amazing. I wish more people were there for it. It was glorious. Sometimes I like to just sit back. Light a pipe, put on my slippers and think about that glorious night.

    1. How do you taste?
    I just licked my hand. It didn’t taste like anything. Someone else better come over and lick me.
    1. What does @Cloud think about this?
    @Cloud is beezer.
    Remember when I said that? Brilliant time
    1. :sulk:[​IMG]

    Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause for @Cloud!

    Little extra interview news bit: we have a new interviewee lined up, to be revealed in a couple days!
    Nikki the Great and Cloud like this.
  3. Cloud

    Cloud Flight Co-Ordinator

    Feb 22, 2002
    Tex Rimmer
    Thanks for the questions everyone! they were as Tex filled as I dreamed. Also I apologize for typos misspelling. I did them at work and had to sort of hurry through so no one seen I wasn't working. Also I am an idiot.
    Nikki the Great likes this.
  4. Ant E

    Ant E Science Officer

    Apr 22, 2009
    Currently drinking a cup of tea
    Cloud likes this.
  5. BigOleDummy

    BigOleDummy Console Officer

    Sep 16, 2017
    Where you least expect
    Great Interview @Cloud !

    Kudo's to you and @Abe for not keeping us waiting for 6 months!
    Nikki the Great, Ant E and Cloud like this.
  6. Cloud

    Cloud Flight Co-Ordinator

    Feb 22, 2002
    Tex Rimmer
    I am efficient
  7. Pembers

    Pembers Console Officer

    Jan 4, 2013
    Loved it Cloudy, especially the kebab stuff, we definitely need to meet for a kebab one day.
    Abe and Cloud like this.
  8. Cloud

    Cloud Flight Co-Ordinator

    Feb 22, 2002
    Tex Rimmer
    Yes we can have a kebab eating contest. I will win though
    Abe likes this.
  9. Abe

    Abe Deck Sergeant

    Oct 6, 2016
    i ship it <3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
    Cloud likes this.
  10. Ant E

    Ant E Science Officer

    Apr 22, 2009
    Very enjoyable especially the bits about Cloud (and Bluey)
    Nikki the Great, Cloud and Pembers like this.
  11. Asclepius

    Asclepius Console Officer

    Dec 14, 2016
    Behind you
    Great interview, Cloud.
    Cloud likes this.
  12. FeeBee

    FeeBee Deck Sergeant

    Jan 4, 2016
    There is a Texas in Australia you may have to look there fir Tex Rimmer as well. Not sure if any other countries also have Texas as well.
  13. Abe

    Abe Deck Sergeant

    Oct 6, 2016
    oh no the disease is spreading
    BigOleDummy likes this.
  14. Bluey

    Bluey Science Officer

    Jul 28, 2001
    Good interview. Thanks @Abe and @Cloud.

    Who's next?
    Abe likes this.
  15. Nikki the Great

    Nikki the Great Flight Co-Ordinator

    May 14, 2012
    Great interview! Now let's go and haunt each other's dreams...
    Pembers and Abe like this.
  16. Abe

    Abe Deck Sergeant

    Oct 6, 2016
    Sounds like tomorrow to me.

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