RD Quotes that still make you laugh years later?

Discussion in 'RED DWARF UNIVERSE' started by Alana_Ryan_Behan, Apr 9, 2014.

  1. Alana_Ryan_Behan

    Alana_Ryan_Behan Second Technician

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    I'll start the ball rolling....

    "So let me get this straight. You want to fly on a magic carpet, to see the King of the Potato People, and plead with him for your freedom? And you're telling me you're completely sane?!".
     
  2. bdsmelle

    bdsmelle First Technician

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    Love this !!!

    now weary traveller rest your head,
    for just like me,
    your utterly dead


    Every time I hear it I can't help laughing :lol:
     
  3. Strat-tastic

    Strat-tastic Flight Co-Ordinator

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    She'll never leave Fred and we know it :-D
     
  4. Seb

    Seb Captain Staff Member

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    "You are how you look! And I look... like a COMPLETE AND TOTAL TIT!"
     
  5. Simonr1978

    Simonr1978 Console Officer

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    "Now I know why dogs lick their testicles." :lol:
     
  6. Alana_Ryan_Behan

    Alana_Ryan_Behan Second Technician

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    Is tit, British slang for a woman, Seb P?

    (Hence Titty Walker in Swallows and Amazons, I guess?)
     
  7. Simonr1978

    Simonr1978 Console Officer

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    It's British slang for a female breast, but in common usage it's also often used to refer to someone behaving or feeling stupid or foolish as in this case. I believe, as with many words, its use has changed over time though, it probably didn't have the same meaning when Swallows and Amazons was written and I doubt you'd find many people called "Titty" these days.
     
  8. Redhead85

    Redhead85 Second Officer

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    Just a handful of my favourites... :-D

    (Parallel Universe)
    Rimmer: "Holly. The thought occurs that we haven't actually reached Earth. The further thought occurs...that we haven't actually budged a smegging inch."

    (Emohawk: Polymorph 2)
    Kryten: "Sir, try and remain calm. You're experiencing a classic knee-jerk, paranoid reaction to a terror situation. It's essential at this time that we - IT'S THE WALL!"

    (Out of Time)
    Rimmer: Ohhhhhh dear!
    Cat: What? Is he fat?
    Rimmer: Far from it. He's lost a bit of weight actually.
     
  9. sundayforsammy

    sundayforsammy Console Officer

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    HOLLY: It's fairly straightforward. If you want to start it you press "START," you can work out the rest of the controls for yourself.
     
  10. Pembers

    Pembers Console Officer

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    I've mentioned it before but I love when Kryten says to Rimmer (In Meltdown I believe) "Well you do of course have a small physical presence" the line and the look on Rimmer and Cat's faces always cracks me up.
     
  11. Bluey

    Bluey Science Officer

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    RIMMER: Oh, har har.
    LISTER: Rimmer, people who say 'har har' have no sense of humour, they just can't think of a witty retort.
    RIMMER: Oh, har har.
     
  12. Unrumble

    Unrumble Third Technician

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    "Yeah, I know, but I could hardly wait six months with a red-hot jape like that under my belt."
     
  13. Stephen

    Stephen Guest

    "oh crap!...not you!"
     
  14. Hesperus

    Hesperus Third Technician

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    'Over the years I've come to regard you as... people... I met'.
     
  15. simulant37

    simulant37 Science Officer

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    From White Hole

    The Cat: So, what is it?
     
  16. andyedge

    andyedge First Technician

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    "Let's get out there and twat it!" :-D
     
  17. andyedge

    andyedge First Technician

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    A few more, some obvious classics, but that's why I love 'em :-D

    "Sir, they've taken Mr Rimmer!"
    "Quick! Let's get out of here before they bring him back!"

    "Step up to Red Alert"
    "Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb"

    "I was only away 2 minutes"

    "No chance you metal bastard"

    Anything said by spare head 3 :-D
     
  18. Fairfax

    Fairfax Catering Officer

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    "My father was a jellybrain?"

    "Mind that bus. What bus? Splat!"
     
  19. Bluey

    Bluey Science Officer

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    One of the best-known and most quoted moments from Red Dwarf, but strangely enough I never liked it. I never really like swear words being uttered in sit-coms to get an easy laugh anyway, but I do love Rimmer's "It's my duty. My duty as a complete and utter bastard" from Timeslides.
     
  20. Rageofangels

    Rageofangels First Technician

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    Without a doubt that's my favourite line from any RD episode. Actually didn't like the episode it was in, but that line was superb.
     

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