Size Matters

Chris shows us the size of his Massive Engines. And Norman signs up.

26 March, 2004

Following in the footsteps of Craig 'Robot Wars' Charles and Robert 'Scrapheap Challenge' Llewellyn, Chris Barrie is getting a handle on horsepower and the stench of oil with Chris Barrie's Massive Engines. Anyone who knows anything knows how keen Chris is on all things automotive, and this series gives him a chance to bring his enthusiasm to a new audience.

Starting on April 5th on the Discovery Channel, each of the ten episodes will be taking a look at a specific type of engine, following the development from their humble beginnings in the 19th Century, to their monster progeny today. "They're all very different episodes," Chris told reddwarf.co.uk. "they all have their own feel. The motorbikes one is kind of personal, because I've got bikes. It really is as if I'm talking to a friend about them [rather than the camera]."

"The two shows that you'd think might not be the most impressive are 'Pumps' and 'Airships'. How can they get a decent half-hour out of that? But I would say that those - which on paper aren't as 'glamorous' - are really good. It was great fun, it really was."

The schedule shapes up like this:

Episode	Date	Time
Diggers	5th April	20:30
Racing Cars	6th April	20:30
Rockets	7th April	20:30
Bikes	8th April	20:30
Airliners	9th April	20:30
Pumps	12th April	20:30
Ships	13th April	20:30
Trucks	14th April	20:30
Airships	15th April	20:30
Trains	16th April	20:30

Chris remembers a lot of good engine-y times. "There were so many great moments for me. Riding a Ducati 999 over the twisty roads of Surrey, there was a spot of digging on a JCB 7-tonne digger, there was driving a '31 vintage blower Bentley..."

And what the hell is the enormous thing he's leant against in a hard-hat? "That was the Krupp bucket-wheel excavator in Rheinland near Cologne. That was just a vast thing. You couldn't take a photograph easily of it, because it was just so vast - 13 and a half thousand tonnes. It was more like a ship. In each of the bucket-wheels you can fit a Mini!"

This is not to say that Chris has left space travel behind, though. The Rockets episode was a pretty special experience. "We went over to Cape Canaveral and saw the room where they launched the rockets from. That had quite a charged atmosphere, a really historic feeling. It was weird - the whole of Cape Canaveral still looked like it was from a 50s sci-fi movie. One of the rooms still had the old screens and switches - it was like the set of Red Dwarf or Thunderbirds. It was still old-tech."

Chris fans everywhere will also be chuffed to have access to this collection of pictures. Feel free to dream up your own captions - particularly for the one depicting Mr Barrie astride a piece of rather drastic machinery...

This is also the Rimmer actor's first major stint of TV presenting, which presented its own challenges. "At first it really did take a while to find my feet - I didn't realise how much hard work it was going to be. A lot of actors say 'I'll do this presenting job', they think it's going to be a breeze. Talking to camera, no real acting required, just your own personality. But it really is quite hard, particularly when - like this - they wanted at least 60% of it to be pieces to camera."

"But once I got into the swing of it - putting the language of the script into my words - it was fine. Eventually you treat the camera lens as a person's face. Try to imagine you're talking to one person. You've got to talk to it like you're talking to a mate in the pub."

Meanwhile, away from the engines, Norman Lovett has thrown his hat in the ring for the Basildon Sci-Fi-Movie-Trading-Card-&-Collectors-Show. (Phew!) The event is being held on Sunday, March 28th in the Basildon Sports Centre. Doors open at 11am and tickets are a mere �2.50 for adults, �1 for kids. Norman has no engine-based stories to tell, but might have some dirt on the cast if anyone's interested.

You can link to the Basildon Show site - as well as Norman Lovett's homepage - from Links.